"Come Sam!" War called at his pup, pointing to the wide backyard that their new house came with. It was relatively empty, but he knew that with a few additions and maybe some toys for Sam, the place would feel like home in no time. "Look how big it is."
If only Sam felt the same. The pup looked at him, then looked behind him, as if expecting someone to come barreling through the doors to mark their territory first, waiting and waiting until no flash of brown and white came after him.
"Sam." The pup turned to War after hearing his name, big black eyes looking confused and almost sad, he wasn't used to being alone, neither of them were. "Zu didn't come with us, remember? He's back at hom-" He caught himself at the last second, reminding himself that this was their home now. "He's with his Daddy Yin."
Sam barked in response, as if asking him Why? Why wasn't Zu and Daddy Yin with them? and he didn't know exactly how to explain to his dog that staying with Zulu and Yin would lull his Papa into a false sense of comfort. He and Yin were nothing more than housemates, ex-housemates now and ex-boyfriends once. Yet sometimes, he felt as if they were always tethering as something more, something that neither of them was ever brave enough to broach. So, before things could get more complicated than they already were, War did the one thing he did best, he ran.
"Sorry Sam, I know you miss your p'Zu. But you have papa?" War said, sitting on the grass in front Sam to pull the pup to his arms. "We're going to be alright, just the two of us."
That was all he could hope for, that someday, by the grace of whoever was listening to him, he would actually move on and stop thinking about what could have been.
***
[Flashback]
"Yin, can we talk?" War asked after dinner that night when the kids were running around the house and he and Yin were tidying the kitchen, deciding earlier that day that it was only polite to lay everything out before his housemate heard about his plans from any of their other friends. "It's important and I can't really keep it from you anymore."
He was terrified, about what? He wasn't entirely sure. Terrified that Yin would be happy to be rid of him? Or terrified that this could bring up something that they've always refused to speak about.
"You're moving out." Yin said simply, pausing from washing their dishes to spare him a knowing smile. "I know."
"You know -? How?"
"We do live under one roof with very thin walls. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I came home early one day and heard you on the phone."
"And?" War didn't really know what he wanted, or what he expected. Did he want Yin to stop him, tell him to stay? Maybe. He didn't know what he wanted when he signed the lease to his new address, so, exactly why was he waiting for Yin to give him a reason to stay. "What do you think?"
"I think, as long as it will make you happy, then I don't think I have any reason to stop you."
No reason to stop him.
Oddly, those words stung more than they should have.
***
It was getting dark outside, and the house was oddly quiet, there was no sound of paws pattering on the floor or the uncanny whirr of War's pottery machine. It was simply – quiet. Had this been two years prior, Yin would not mind the silence. But ever since War Wanarat came crashing to his life, he's come to associate silence with the smaller man's absence. And it wasn't like before, this time he was sure that the only sound that would break the silence was his own voice.
