War swears his heart stops beating. Frozen. With Yin's eyes on him, suddenly the space between them seemed so small, suffocating him until he couldn't breathe. There were no words said and the silence lasted long enough for his heart to start beating wildly in his chest.
"War."
There it was again, Yin calling his name. But it wasn't the playful tone he was used to, it was strained, thick and the push he needed to break their eye contact. Because he couldn't, he couldn't look him in the eye when their friendship falls apart because of his own selfishness.
"I have to go."
And he opens the door before Yin can protest. Because he couldn't bear to hear him say those dreaded words, not today. He wasn't ready to let go of his carefully carved place in Yin's life because of a single slip.
So he runs, like the coward that he knows he is. He doesn't look back, not when he hears Yin call his name again and again. Because he knows that when he looks back, he'll see Yin's broken face mirroring his own and he will break.
---
He was sitting on his favorite part of the hill. It was quiet and it had the clearest view of the sky. He needed to think, to be far away from the man who always clouded his judgement.
The kiss was a mistake, a slip that he shouldn't have allowed to happen. He was a reasonable person, but somehow when it came to Yin, all reason gets thrown out the window and he becomes nothing but a slave to his own emotions.
But he knew it was only a matter of time before Yin finds him. That is, if he still wants to have anything to do with him. Because Yin knows where he hides, he just doesn't know it's him he's always been hiding from.
And he was right, because the tell tale sounds of someone approaching his spot couldn't be anybody else but his bestfriend. War feels it again, the tightening in his chest, pushing, harder and harder until he couldn't breathe because Yin was there and he didn't know what that meant.
"We need to talk."
Yin's warmth next to him was inviting, it was intoxicating and he wanted nothing more than to close the remaining distance between them. But not right now, because right now he was about to break his heart.
Again.
"Okay."
But no one talked and War would laugh at the absurdity of it all if he wasn't so terrified of the thought of losing Yin. The only thing that hurt more than seeing him fall in love with strangers was losing him altogether.
"You kissed me."
It was a fact. It was direct. And War wanted nothing more than for all this to be a dream. Or atleast for Yin to forget everything that happened. It will be better that way.
"I did."
"Why."
War laughed. A full, unrestrained laugh that held every unsaid word in his chest.
"Why do you think I did."
"You tell me."
"Because I made the mistake of falling in love with you Anan."
He made the mistake of falling in love with Yin's laugh and the crinkle in his eyes when he smiled. He made the mistake of loving the wat Yin would run to him with bright eyes and open arms. And he made the mistake of thinking that he meant more to him than just a friend.
"But things don't have to change between us. Pretend this night never happened."
That was him grappling at the last straws of their friendship. Maybe he wished that Yin would say no and finally free him from his self-constructed prison. Or maybe he wanted him to fan the flame and tell him he's always loved him too.
But of course, Yin chooses to break his heart.
"Okay."
---
