𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐄 | 𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘷𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘴

25: Passion and Obligation

It goes without saying, but you haven't had much of a love life.

Being romantically involved with others was a luxury you simply couldn't afford. Growing up with the kind of family you had, you were far too preoccupied with making sure your parents didn't choke on their vomit when they passed out after drinking themselves into a coma, or worrying about whether you'd have anything for dinner or not. As a teenager, you were already working whatever odd jobs you could find to try and pitch in. Even as a newly young adult, up until they disappeared and left you with all this debt, you did everything you possibly could to support them.

In retrospect, you regret it. The moment you turned eighteen, you should have looked for your own place to live and put as much distance between you and your parents as humanly possible. You didn't owe them anything. Your entire life, all they ever did was burden you with problems no child should ever have to worry about, not to mention that you can't remember a single instance when they really, truly showed they loved you.

So, yeah. Romance wasn't exactly your foremost concern. Even now, it's a notion you can hardly entertain, thanks to the constant threats that encroach you from every side.

But sometimes, it all just gets too much. Sometimes, even if it isn't a good idea, people look for an escape. Remembering how Johnny forced you to kiss him the other day brought back miserable memories. You want to forget. No-you need to forget.

And so, you decide to drown yourself in Xavier's embrace.

Xavier doesn't seem to know how to react at first. The moment your lips press against his, he completely stiffens, arms going slack by his sides. You feel your cheeks heat up, because truthfully, you're remarkably inexperienced, and you're worried it'll show. Maybe you got too ahead of yourself. Maybe this really was a mistake.

It doesn't take long for those thoughts to disappear, because suddenly, Xavier is kissing you back.

You feel his strong arms wrap around you. He braces one against your waist, then uses his other hand to gently cup the back of your head. His lips press back against yours with want, passion, and need. His neediness doesn't just make your heart race, but it also helps reassure you, because right now, you feel the exact same way.

Your lips quickly become locked in a messy, uncoordinated fervor. You're almost certain that you're not a good kisser, but Xavier doesn't seem to care. He holds you tight, and despite the coolness of his touch, somehow, you feel impossibly warm.

His lips are so soft. You could honestly lose yourself in this gentle, intoxicating feeling. You briefly feel him squeeze your waist and bite back a groan, and in that moment, a delightful shiver rips up your spine. You press back against him harder, parting your lips slightly and allowing his tongue to roll against your own.

You're not sure how long this goes on for. At a certain point, you lose track of time completely, panting feverishly between strands of saliva and the leftover blood now smeared across your lips. There's an ache building in your core, but it isn't unpleasant in the slightest. You find yourself craving more and more of it.

I wish this moment would never end.

And yet, it must.

With a great deal of effort, you finally pull away. Xavier's eyes widen from shock, and you note how flushed his face is. His excitement is impossible to hide.

Like, seriously impossible.

You make the mistake of glancing down for a moment, and despite the dark fabric of his pants, the bulge that's formed is too distinct to overlook. You quickly glance away, and it doesn't take Xavier long to realize what you just saw. He hurries to shift his position and tries to hide it, but to no avail.