Night Laws |ONGOING|

1|Makeshift Suicide Hotline

Song:
Billie Eilish - THE GREATEST
(BILLIE BY FINNEAS)   

—

~Dahlia~

Birds.
Blue, white, red, black, brown. They are so pretty. Their songs, singing what we can't understand.

Living over us. Watching us. It's hard to see them, when your going three times the speed limit.

At night they are quieter, it's impossible to hear them through my AirPods on full volume and my helmet closed.

   Other than sunsets, night is my favorite. Downing in darkness. Swimming in loneliness. Riding so fast my arms turn blue.

   No one awake to scream at you for not being good enough.

  Nobody to tell you to slow down.

   Nothing that will hurt you more then day. Day brings the Sun. The Sun peaks from the top of the trees, waking up the world.

I hate the Sun.

   I hate the Day.

   Wakes up the people.

Then I have to deal with the dumbasses.

   I'm awake, even when it feels like I'm not.

   Shaking?
Death shake.
Fuck.

I hate it when I have to stop. 
  Especially, when I can't control it.

Now I'm laying of the ground.

   I can't see. My body aches.  Birds get quiet and stare, hoping around me.

   Will they help?
   Are they whispering about me?

   Thoughts scratch my brain leaving cuts in need of stitches behind.

   Cuts like on my body. I need to get up. I'm just so tired.

—

   Walking back to my bike across the grass, I wrap my leg with my shirt and press my hand onto it.
   Thank the Lord for tall grass.

                  —

   I stop by a walk-in clinic on my way home. Thankfully, my bike is okay, other than a few scratches. I want a new color anyway. Pink is getting old.

   A pretty bad concussion is always fun. Fractured arm, six stitches in my leg, a scheduled therapy session, and a dumb doctor's note saying I need to stay off my bike for a month at least.

   Not. Fucking. Happening.
  
   My last therapy session ended with me in a twenty-four hour, monitored room. Not going to make that mistake again.

Four hundred dollars, for something my bike does every night? I'd laugh in their face (again) if I have to hear-

   "Well, the night rides might be taking a toll on your mental health. I suggest riding during the day. Maybe make some friends to ride with. Or not ride at all! Fuck your life! Nobody cares! Just stop cutting yourself! Be happy! You will be fine!"

   Not word for word, but that's what I got out of it.

   Dumb bitch, doesn't know anything.

    I make a note in my phone to not crash on the seventh and end up in that room.