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Chapter 23

"...awake...ambulance"

"Breath...Hospital"

"Lack...Ox...Oxygen"

Nicky started to gradually regain consciousness. He groaned as he felt the warm sun on his face. He sat up and yawned, rubbing his eyes with his fist whipping away any traces of sleep. He looked round at the room he was in observing the large metal door at the foot of his bed. It was sterile white and smelled strongly of bleach; he felt his nose scrunch up at the smell of the chemicals mixing together. 'Where am I?' He wondered. He felt like he was floating, like his body was as light as a feather. Was he dead? Or was he simply floating in and out of the space between life and death? He moved his knees towards his chest hissing at the sharp pain that shot through his leg. He didn't want to think about how the wound looked. It was probably a mess of Frankenstein stitches stretched across the skin knitting it together.

He lifted the blanket slightly and saw that the bullet hole in his knee was wrapped in soft badges. He cringed at the sight of dark red splotches on the bandages soaking through and staining the sheets slightly. He looked down at his legs again and found that he had several more darker red splotches on his skin that were tender and sore, obviously second degree burns. He looked through the glass window outside the door, he could hear the hustle and bustle of several nurses and doctors seeing some of them rush past. 'I'm in a hospital' he thought. It was much clearer now and he didn't feel as disorientated as before. He tried to pull himself up but his arms gave way and he fell back down onto the bed with a soft thump. He groaned as he stared at the ceiling, the lights were too bright and made him cover his eyes and sigh. Nicky could hear a heart monitor beep next to him. He turned his head and saw a thin green line zigzagging up and down so he definitely wasn't dead.

Nicky brought a hand up to his forehead and felt a large bump that was there and poked at it. He must have knocked his head off something. His hand wandered around his forehead more, feeling all the other bumps and scratches. He could feel that the bump was the size of an egg, and it was probably an angry red, like he was growing a horn "ow!" He groaned out as he poked a tad too hard. 'I wish I had a mirror so I could see it!' He thought. He wiggled his toes and fingers trying to see how much of his body he could move without causing too much discomfort. He lay back on the pillows and slowly started to remember everything: the fight, the gun, the fire, everything was coming back to him. 'I wonder if Maritza is here?' he thought, looking over to the window and sighing deeply. 'I hope I didn't hurt her too badly.'

He sat up quickly in panic, wondering whether Maritza was still alive. He didn't want to kill her but if he had, what was he going to tell Enzo? 'He's going to hate me!' He panicked more. He and Enzo had started to get along and he didn't want to ruin it, so he just prayed Maritza was still alive. He remembered seeing her lying there motionless blood seeping from her head. There was a wave of guilt that washed over him, crashing down and pulling him into his own self-pity. He screwed up his face and hiccupped out a sob. He wanted to crawl under the sheets and disappear forever. Enzo was probably distraught about his sister. Also now Mel would no longer have a mother in her life made Nicky feel like a terrible person for hurting such a sweet little girl, saddling her with this burden. Nicky whipped his tears away angrily when he heard the door open.

A nurse peaked through the door and opened the door fully realising it was the right room holding a clipboard in her grasp. "Mr Roth?" She asked, looking down at the clipboard and tapping it with her long nails. She was dressed in white and had a stethoscope around her neck. She had a nametag clipped to her shirt. 'Nurse Marina' was printed on it. Her golden hair was tied in a bun.

Nicky nodded. "Yes...?" he asked, looking at her curiously. The nurse smiled gently and approached his side, removing the blankets from his lap. She observed Nicky's knee pulling at the bandages to make sure they were tight enough, stopping when he grimaced. "Well" she started "you were brought here after the fire brigade got a call from someone saying that they saw billows of smoke coming from the woods". Nicky nodded looking down at his lap. "I see...H...how is Maritza?" He asked desperately looking at her begging despite everything Maritza had just put him through. He still wanted to find out if she was ok or not because maybe it would make that guilt go away.

That was the main difference between them both; he actually had a conscience that made him feel sympathy for others. The nurse sighed and rested her hand on his shoulder trying to comfort him, but her real message was: 'This is bad news'. "I...I don't know how to tell you this but...Mrs Esposito is dead." Nicky stared at her shell, shocked he couldn't believe what he had just been told. He knew he had shot her but he had hoped he hadn't caused anything permanently damaging. He looked up at her wide-eyed. "A...am I going to jail?" he asked, scared of what was likely to happen to him. The nurse shook her head.

"No because it has been written off as self defence as from the reports it seems she shot you first." Nicky nodded slightly relieved but the guilty feeling was not going away. "I see...what about her daughter?" The nurse smiled and flipped through her clipboard and tapped at it again with her nails. "Well...since Mel's father is unable to be contacted and she seems to be heavily attached to you the court has decided to give you custody of her. After you are released you are required to go to court...but don't worry about all that" Nicky felt his heart beat faster and his heart monitor becoming more erratic. He wanted to reject the idea of having custody of her. He didn't feel like he was worthy of it but...he felt deep down that maybe he should try to give her a home she deserves. The nurse stood up and walked over to the window, opening it and blowing cool air into the room. She walked back over to the foot of his bed smiling. "If you need anything else just call" as she shut the door behind her, Nicky watching her disappear down the hallway.

He leaned back in the bed wriggling around until he was comfortable. He looked over at the window again watching a bird fly past. He sighed and looked back down at his lap playing with his fingers. He could hear someone's voice on the other side of the door loud and demanding. He gazed up curiously as Enzo walked in calm and relaxed. He smiled gently about to say something before a tiny blur ran past him and clambered on top of Nicky tiny hands on his chest "uncle Nicky!" Mel cried out, snuggling him. Nicky smiled gently and melted into the hug holding her back and rocking her gently. He ran his hand through her hair "Hello Mel." He kissed the top of her head tenderly, his knee throbbing slightly but he ignored it. He looked up at Enzo "Hey..." he trailed off and looked down at his legs biting his lip and trying to find words. "I...I'm sorry about Maritza'' he didn't have much more to say he didn't know how to treat the situation. Enzo didn't utter a word he just stared at Nicky who began to squirm uncomfortably. He looked at Enzo in the eyes, still stroking his hand through Mel's soft hair. "Say something...please" Enzo took a step forward, not looking away. Nicky backed away slightly until his back hit the bed frame. What was wrong with him? Nicky knew he was probably grieving but why did he visit? Did Enzo want to tell him that he never wanted to speak to Nicky again? Panic started to settle in his chest."I could have lost you." Nicky looked at Enzo shocked. Enzo leaned in and embraced him, pulling him close with his hand on his back. He started not letting go of him Mel was squished between the mow her cheeks flattening as she was pushed against Nicky's chest.

Nicky nodded, still lost for words he squirmed before he managed to free himself from Enzo's grip. "I should have seen the signs within Maritza..." Enzo started rubbing his face with one hand. Nicky shook his head and gently took his hand. "It's not your fault I put myself in danger." Enzo sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm still sorry...do you forgive me?" Nicky smiled and squeezed his hand gently. "Apologies accepted." Enzo blushed deeply and held out a bunch of flowers offering them to Nicky.

"Mel and I picked these up for you from the local market...do you like them? Nicky smiled and took them, inhaling their sweet scent. "They are beautiful. How did you know sunflowers were my favourite?" he asked, admiring the sunny yellow petals. Enzo blushed even more and played with his hair looking around the room. "I remember you saying they were your favourite" Nicky nodded and started rubbing circles on Mel's back soothingly making her yawn. "Thank you both of you" he said Mel smiled up at him and snuggled Nicky as he placed the flowers in a glass of water. Enzo picked his fingers nervously. "You know...there is a decent restaurant near here if you want to visit it when you are out of the hospital?" Nicky grinned and let out a small giggle nodding.

"Sure."

Fin~