Time skip
"I had two choices, and i think none of them mattered." Felix thought
"I thought things could go back to the way they were, i thought i was doing the right thing when i forced myself to keep distance from hyunjin, for seungmin. But it was a mistake i made, which i can't undo." Felix thought to himself
"But how wrong was i? When did all this mess start to grow bigger? Why did things become worse?" Felix thought
It was the end of the semester, alot of things were changing. The most important thing that changed for felix was, his and hyunjin's relationship.
Felix didn't realize at first, that how his relationship changed with the others as well.
"Shit hits different when you're about to be an adult" jeongin yawned lazily
"Yeah it does..." felix spoke
"I'm so tired from writting those letters, seungmin doesn't even appreciate it anymore, it's like I'm being played around like a toy..it makes me cry..." felix thought
"Yeah things change...and so do people" changbin spoke as he turned towards felix
"You've changed felix.." changbin smiled a bit
"....what? I mean...how?" Felix raised his eyebrow
"He always says this...it's annoying.." felix thought
"Seems like you've matured alot.....you're not the same felix i knew when you first came here.." changbin spoke
"I agree...but so has minho, did you see how arrogant he acts these days?" Jeongin spoke
"Hey now, he's just-" changbin spoke hesitantly
"i don't know...people just change i guess.." changbin sighed
"Forget that, we still promised to stay together after school...so everything's going to be good.." jeongin spoke
"The way everyone has been lately...i don't think that could happen anymore." felix thought
Later
"Why does hyunjin keep ignoring my presence and stick around with seungmin so much now? What happened between them?" Felix thought
"Why am i thinking that? This is what i fucking wanted...and now that it's happening.." felix thought
"It still hurts..." felix whispered to himself as he looked down at his table
"No..i didn't want this...did i?" Felix thought
Felix saw seungmin and hyunjin being together alot, he could see how seungmin was the happiest these days, but they both didn't acknowledge felix properly which bothered him alot. Felix knew something was up with hyunjin and it felt wrong, he just tried not to show it.
Felix hated how much he was helping seungmin but seungmin stopped caring about the efforts felix put. Felix was giving his best just for his friends sake.
"They think I'm dumb..huh.." felix thought
Felix suddenly got a message from seungmin saying -
"Did you forget to give him the letter today?"
"I didn't...i just...had too much Shit going on..so i couldn't write it.." felix thought as he remembered the night before
Felix felt like he was going insane the night before, he couldn't get anything out. He wasn't able to write good things for hyunjin, or keep telling him how he is liked by someone. Felix was exhausted.
"Let's just clear it up then...cause I'm fucking tired.." felix thought
Felix dragged his feet to the washroom to write the letter, he took a deep breath as he hated doing that. Felix was tired of telling himself that this would be the last time, or just for a little longer. But felix was beyond losing his mind this time and he had nobody to talk to about his troubles.
"This is a fucking joke" felix spoke as he crumbled the paper
"Why can't seungmin do it himself.." felix thought angrily
"Fine it's okay..it's gonna be alright..." felix tried to calm himself down
"No, it would never be okay...i am joke to them..i am not gaining anything from this." felix thought
"This is it...i won't try hard anymore..." felix spoke to himself in the bathroom stall as he took the last paper out.
Felix wasn't paying attention while writing the letter, and when he processed what he wrote he cursed himself out.
"Fuck...! I'm not supposed to write my own thoughts...what are you doing felix...get it together.." felix tried to calm himself down as he cut down what he wrote
̶I̶ ̶h̶̶a̶̶d̶ ̶t̶̶w̶̶o̶ ̶c̶̶h̶̶o̶̶i̶̶c̶̶e̶̶s̶ ̶a̶̶n̶̶d̶ ̶n̶̶o̶̶n̶̶e̶ ̶o̶̶f̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶̶m̶ ̶m̶̶a̶̶t̶̶t̶̶e̶̶r̶̶e̶̶d̶, ̶i̶ ̶m̶̶e̶̶s̶̶s̶̶e̶̶d̶ ̶u̶̶p̶ ̶b̶̶o̶̶t̶̶h̶, ̶W̶̶e̶̶a̶̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶t̶̶o̶ ̶p̶̶r̶̶e̶̶t̶̶e̶̶n̶̶d̶ ̶a̶̶n̶̶d̶ ̶n̶̶o̶̶t̶ ̶c̶̶a̶̶r̶̶e̶ ̶a̶̶b̶̶o̶̶u̶̶t̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶o̶̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶̶s̶ ̶a̶̶n̶̶d̶ ̶c̶̶h̶̶o̶̶o̶̶s̶̶e̶ ̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶, ̶o̶̶r̶ ̶t̶̶o̶ ̶k̶̶e̶̶e̶̶p̶ ̶a̶̶w̶̶a̶̶y̶ ̶f̶̶r̶̶o̶̶m̶ ̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶.̶A̶̶n̶̶d̶ ̶l̶̶e̶̶t̶ ̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶ ̶c̶̶h̶̶o̶̶o̶̶s̶̶e̶ ̶h̶̶i̶̶m̶
̶W̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶ ̶d̶̶o̶ ̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶i̶̶n̶̶k̶ ̶i̶ ̶d̶̶i̶̶d̶...̶w̶̶h̶̶y̶ ̶d̶̶o̶ ̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶i̶̶n̶̶k̶ ̶i̶ ̶d̶̶i̶̶d̶ ̶w̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶ ̶i̶ ̶d̶̶i̶̶d̶ ̶N̶̶o̶...̶i̶ ̶d̶̶i̶̶d̶ ̶i̶̶t̶ ̶c̶̶a̶̶u̶̶s̶̶e̶ ̶i̶ ̶h̶̶a̶̶d̶ ̶t̶̶o̶...̶i̶̶t̶ ̶h̶̶a̶̶d̶ ̶t̶̶o̶ ̶b̶̶e̶ ̶d̶̶o̶̶n̶̶e̶..̶f̶̶o̶̶r̶ ̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶...̶n̶̶o̶̶t̶ ̶f̶̶o̶̶r̶ ̶u̶̶s̶.. ̶I̶ ̶d̶̶i̶̶d̶̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶w̶̶a̶̶n̶̶t̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶̶s̶ ̶t̶̶o̶ ̶c̶̶o̶̶m̶̶e̶ ̶t̶̶o̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶i̶̶s̶..̶i̶ ̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶̶e̶ ̶i̶̶t̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶ ̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶ ̶a̶̶r̶̶e̶ ̶b̶̶e̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶i̶̶s̶ ̶w̶̶a̶̶y̶ ̶b̶̶u̶̶t̶ ̶i̶̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶m̶̶y̶ ̶f̶̶a̶̶u̶̶l̶̶t̶ ̶i̶̶n̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶e̶̶n̶̶d̶ ̶i̶̶s̶̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶i̶̶t̶
Suddenly, someone entered the washroom and to felix's surprise, they were some familiar voices. Felix shut his mouth and kept the papers still.
"Don't make noise or else they would see your breakdown." Felix thought
"Did you really think I'm leaving? It's a joke han.." minho sighed loudly
"It's not funny" han responded as he entered the stall next to felix's
"Do you think it's cool?" Han asked as he scoffed
"No...let me add some more spice..to it.." minho giggled
"What are they...doing?" Felix thought
"Ugh look at this..who the fuck wrote this..." han sighed as he tried to rub something off the wall
"Hey, this is a permanent marker..." han spoke as minho wrote something on the door of that stall
"I know...." minho replied
"Do you think they-" han spoke but minho shushed him out suddenly
Minho indicated to han that someone else was in the other stall as well, so they just quiety left after exploiting the walls.
"What are they? Girls? Why would they do shit like this.." felix thought
After everything went silent, felix cleaned up his mess and felt safe enough to come out of the stall. Curiously, he opened the stall next to him just to see what they were scribbling.
Felix was shocked from what he was seeing, it took him a few seconds to process everything.
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