He Is My Sin - Hyunho

10. A Christmas Tale

November faded into December.

Work was not as hectic. After the submission for the permits for the on going housing project, things were moving at a more even pace, allowing some relaxation in the office. Minho looked around at everyone going about  their daily tasks, calm and collected. Not running around like headless chicken. Seungmin's favourite way to describe a hectic situation - not his.

And just in time for Christmas leisure.

Christmas, he thought. Not the Christmas he'd imagined a few months back. He sighed heavily feeling the pain of his - their - loss. He pushed it as far back in his mind as he could, to avoid drowning in it. He couldn't. He couldn't take it anymore. He simply couldn't.

'I need to escape.'

He looked over to where Hyunjin was sitting and working, completely absorbed in his task, a wistful mist clouding his eyes.

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The atmosphere became more festive as December 24 approached. Tina and the members of the design department were organizing a party. Minho rolled his eyes, being in absolutely no mood for partying. But he didn't want to ruin everyone else's either. So, he tried to act like he was happy about it. Cheerful. Festive. When he felt more like the Grinch who wanted to steal Christmas.

Maybe he could skip the party. But then again, he would miss seeing Hyunjin a bit more. What a wayward thought!

He wanted to see more of him. Even though it made him more uncomfortable than he'd like to think. His thoughts never stopped revolving around the blond. However, he made a conscious effort to not allow them to get in the way of his work. Hyunjin seemed to have given up on his attempts to resolve the 'misunderstanding' between them. Minho just ignored the matter altogether. If Hyunjin thought he overstepped a boundary, Minho wouldn't try to rectify his misconception. Even if it bothered him.

A little distance was for the better. Right? Or, did it make him suffer from an inexplicable longing?

He was contradicting himself. He was aware of it. He just wished he could figure out what he really wanted. He was tired of going in circles, over and over. In his mind - and in his heart - he felt a void that ached to be filled. And the blond seemed like a likely - and extremely dangerous - candidate. His subconscious urged him to take the plunge. But at what cost?

I mean, what the hell Minho? How come you even think of him that way? Another man? Your colleague?

But he does. He freakin' does!

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So... the Christmas spirit seemed to infect everything. Except for the situation at home. He and his wife barely spoke to each other. Even less than before. One of them would have to make the decision. But Minho still wished that Yeji would be the one to break the impasse between them. He just couldn't bring himself to do it.  No matter how painful and exhausting the situation became. 

Suffocating...

He also dreaded the family dinner on Christmas day, but here was nothing he could do to avoid it. He had resigned himself to his fate. That is what he was good at, anyway...

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Minho walked around the office taking mental notes of all the workers. He used to make a little list of Christmas presents for the people in the office in advance, so he would know what to get them if he was chosen to be their Secret Santa. It was something that Jeongin seemed to enjoy the most and he enforced it as a tradition every year at the office. Minho huffed. But he couldn't deny his youngest friend and partner this little fun thing. His gaze fell on Hyunjin. The blond was going through drawing reviews on his computer, eyes glued to the screen, his hair in a messy half ponytail and a pen between his lips.