Is It Wrong To Dream

River flows

July 19, 20XX

When I was on 2nd grade, something piqued my interest.

"School Quiz Bee"

All of my classmates were talking about it. I got curious and decided to go to our classroom adviser for more details. Apparently if you get chosen as a participant for a school quiz bee, you will represent your school to compete with other schools on various subjects. Math, English, History and more. This time, our school are finding a representative for the upcoming 2nd grade History Quiz Bee. From what I heard, there will be a mock quiz bee where a contestant would be picked and it will be held tomorrow.

After school, I immediately went back home to study. I read my notes and our book on History.

"Teacher said that the questions will all be about Lessons 1-3. She also said that we have to memorize some of the words in the glossary."

Having no time to prepare, I decided to study all night. I even asked my Mom to help me study.

July 20, 20XX

The day for the mock quiz bee came. This quiz bee will held during the morning in a separate classroom. While we are waiting, let me explain what this mock quiz bee is all about.

There are 10 questions and we have 15 seconds to answer each of them. Whoever gets the highest amount of points will be picked as the contestant for the 2nd grade History Quiz Bee.

I'm nervous but somewhat excited. The idea of having to compete with other students from another school and having a chance to become friends with them makes me somewhat excited.

There are 4 students, including me and they all are my classmates. Only students from section 1 are the only ones who are able to join the School Quiz Bees because section 1 is the "cream of the crop" section. Honestly, I feel bad for others that want to join this Quiz Bee. Who knows, some of them might be really great in these quiz bees but didn't have the chance to participate because they are in lower section.

The teacher would call us one by one and will ask us questions about 2nd grade History. While one student is with the teacher, the rest are going to be outside waiting for their turn.

"XXXX please go inside."

"Yes teacher."

It officially started. While I patiently waiting for my turn, I gazed on others. The others look nervous too, just like me.

As time goes by, I witnessed the looks on everybody's faces. The first one looks very devastated, it looks like he bombed the mock quiz bee. The other one is ecstatic, it seems he managed to get a lot of correct answers. The last one is fidgety, it looks like she is nervous whether she would be picked or not.

When I finished looking at them, I didn't notice it's my turn. I stood up and walked inside. Looking forward, straight body, no looking back just forward. I took a deep breath and exhaled.

"There's no turning back now..." I told myself.

I'm very nervous that my legs is shaking intensively, as if I was going to fall. My heart was also racing so fast. Could I make it? If I sat there in the chair in front of the teacher, would I calm down? Or would I become too nervous?

"I could do this. If I managed to get just 3 wrong answers then, I might get a chance." I thought to myself while calming myself up at the same time.

"Please sit, Kana-chan." The teacher said to me with a smile on her face.

I sat on the chair that faces towards her table. The atmosphere was very tense, it made me tremble. I placed the pencil and paper I was holding on to the desk. The teacher then began asking me questions. It was only 10 questions but these 10 questions would determine my fate.

The teacher asked me the first question. I was shocked to know that this question was on my reviewer that I and mom was reading last night. I immediately wrote the answer on the paper. The teacher asked me to show her my answer and when she said it was correct...

"Yes!" I yelled.

The teacher smiled on me and moves on the next question. I managed to get the question correct too, and the next one, and the other one too but...

"You're doing great Kana-chan, now here's the next question."

At first I was like, "I could answer this" but when I heard the question, I was for a moment.

"It's not on my reviewer." I muttered to myself.

With the clock ticking, I tried guessing the answer. When the teacher asked me what my answer is, I reluctantly showed my answer.

"Correct, now next question."

I was shocked not because that I'm correct but because of the thought that was running on my head.

"If right now I'm having trouble answering this question, then what would happen to me on these next questions?" I muttered to myself.

As I feared, the next questions was very hard for me but unlike the previous one, I didn't manage to get a correct answer, not a single one.

When we are done, the teacher called the other 3 students so she can start the announcement.

"Before I say anything, I would like to congratulate all of you. Even if you didn't managed to be picked as a contestant, I don't want you to get discouraged. All of you did well today and I want all of you to know that. Now then, let me announce the one who got the most points and will represent our school for the upcoming History Quiz Bee."

I closed my eyes, hoping that at least I could be picked as a contestant even I scored half of the questions. I swear to myself that when I got picked, I would study even harder.

"Congratulations –"

My heart is beating so fast again. Could I make it? Or not? I've never felt something like this before. I'm super nervous right now.

The teacher announced who the winner in this mock quiz bee is and, it's not me. As she said the name of student, I opened my eyes and looked down. The student is of course happy. To be able to represent the school in a school quiz bee is a great honour.

"I look forward to you XXXX. Now then, all of you can go back to your classroom."

We all went back to our classroom. I'm super devastated but it's no surprise to be honest. All I get was to get half of the questions correct. When we got to the classroom, I sat on my chair, still looking down.

*sniff sniff*

Tears suddenly flow on my cheeks, I tried wiping but it's no use. I've never felt this feeling before. Its super frustrating that I want to try even harder.

Maybe the reason this feeling is new for me is because ever since I was on kindergarten, I always ace all of the exams and always the top 1 of the class. This is the first time I lost on something. Is this what it feels like to lose? Or is this what it feels like to have something to be passionate about?

"I-I'll... definitely study hard *sniff* and one of these days... I would represent our school on these Quiz Bees!"