When the right time comes

4: True feelings

"Hey, sweety, look who this is."

A barely five years old Xiao Zhan saw aunt Rui bringing a bundle of clothes to him. It's only after she sat beside him on the couch did Xiao Zhan see the two round, sleepy eyes watching him curiously from that bundle of clothes.

The baby was only just more than one year old. He has his little fingers pushed inside his milky mouth. Xiao Zhan slowly raised his hand to touch the baby carefully. "Nihao, didi. I'm your gege. Do you like me?" He asked the baby, feeling happy on seeing the little man.

Baby hasn't started to say more than a few words. So the baby made a giddy noise, giggling loudly and caught Zhan's finger within his spit smeared little hands.

"Aww! See! Baby likes his gege so much!" It was uncle Shen who just joined them. He patted Zhan's head lovingly. "Zhan zhan, can you accept us as your mother and father from now on and this would be your little didi. Will you join our family as our son, my sweetheart?" Huang Shen softly asked Zhan as he pressed Zhan to his chest, comforting him.

Xiao Zhan knew he could no longer live with his father, let alone see him. Now he is going to have a new family for the rest of his life. His eyes immediately watered.

"Hey, it's okay! Even if you didn't see us as your parents, please live with us. We will take good care of you." Shen said and patted his back. Zhan started to cry, remembering his father.

Just then he heard the smaller boy also crying.

"Aigo... Yuer is also sad seeing his brother crying." Rui said, looking softly at Zhan and comforting the little one.

It was all new to Zhan. He never had a didi before. It was only him and his father and maybe sometimes a nanny. That was Xiao Zhan's life until then in his memories. Seeing someone cry for him, Zhan became soft. From the sadness he is drowning badly, the thought of having someone caring for him was like a ray of hope for Zhan.

"Hey, didi, don't cry. Are you crying because of me?" Zhan asked the little one. His eyes are still watery.

Baby pouts and then again started to weep silently. Xiao Zhan looked at Rui for permission and the lady gladly gave the baby to him.

"Shh... it's okay... gege is not sad anymore. See." Zhan wiped his tears and smiled at the little one as he rocked the baby.

Seeing him smiling, the boy also smiled and then giggled, trying to scratch Zhan's chin.

"Aww! Baby liked his gege." Rui giggled, cooing at the boys.

Zhan smiled, feeling delighted. He also got a didi! His didi!

He hugged little Yuer and kissed his chubby cheek. "Gege will take good care of you, little one. Gege loves you." .........

"Go easy, Xiao Zhan. Relax, Wake up. Slowly.... Yes... Now open your eyes..."

Xiao Zhan opened his eyes to the dim light of the clinic he had gone to have another session with his psychiatrist. Chillness jolted him up more from his own crumpled self than from the air conditioner. Hugging himself to a cocoon as he usually does in situations like this, Xiao Zhan breathed slowly, trying to even out his agitated heart.

No, it's not true. The love he has for Yuer is different from what he should feel for a life partner. He has been meddling himself in an unwanted dilemma all these while.

Dr. Kang handed him a glass of water to drink. He waited for Xiao Zhan to be calm and join him in the clinical room.

"How do you feel, Xiao Zhan?" Dr. Kang asked, putting his notepad away and giving all the concentration to Zhan.