If we say Goodbye

Chp# 1

DESPITE POPULAR BELIEF, and the fact that I hold in my feelings like they're the CIA's most classified secret, I'm not a robot. My emotions are there but buried deep inside my icy exterior. It's safer that way. More comfortable.

the syrupy sweet smell of Mom's over-the- top breakfast has invaded my room. My stomach cries out inside of me demanding food. I crack my door open and peer into the empty hallway of second story of our house.

I avoid interactions with her cuz without fail, she tries to pry into my emotions every chance she gets. How are you feeling? Are you sure you're okay? Do you want to try going to school today? Fine. Yes. No.

My answers are always the same, so I wish she'd stop asking.

Mom had Jimin who enjoyed staying up late talking about everything under the sun. Dad and I, on the other hand, are the quiet ones.

If I had more self-control, I'd wait for Mom to leave for work. I step out of the safety of my room. Jimin's closed door is a like neon sign in my peripheral vision.

I continue to creep forward until my hands reach the white railing on the side of the stairs. Mom is nowhere to be seen.

My shoulders relax, and I let out a sigh of relief, enter the living room.

Like clockwork, her Mom steps out of the bathroom. Her Mom's intense red lips part into a smile and she says "I thought I heard you come down. How are you, honey?". Lisa sigh and says "I'm fine."

Lisa pov **The thing about Mom is that she loves to talk.Now, while I'm sure that would interest someone, I am not that someone. **

Lisa headed for the kitchen and her Mom follows her "Look," she says, "I made your favorite."

Lisa forced herself to smile. Mom stands there frozen, waiting for me to say something more. Her smile dissolves back into a blank stare.

After a moment her mom breaks free
"I asked Jungkook to bring your homework today." I groan. "Mom."
She laughs. "You'll live. Besides, you could use a friend."
"I have friends," I mumble,

Her Mom asked "How is Rosé?" while her voice wavered.
Lisa says coldly, "I don't know, I haven't seen her."

Her mother says "It's been three months. I'm sure Jimin wouldn't want-"

Lisa says "Jimin is dead. He doesn't want anything." Lisa thought *The words slip out too fast, and I can't look at her.*

A long, thick silence follows. Her Mom whispers "I need to go I'm already late."

Lisa thoughts **My heart sinks as she walks past me. I know I should say something. Apologize, maybe. But I'm too numb to move. Part of me needed to remind her that things will never be the same. The door rattles as it closes behind her. I got my wish. She's gone. But it doesn't make me feel any better.**

Time Skips....

It's almost three-thirty, and i head downstairs. Jungkook will be here any minute, and if I try to ignore him, he'll come again when mom will be home.

When Jimin died, the school stopped expecting me to show up. teachers started having my parents pick up packets of homework assignments until my Mom started asking jungkook to do it.

Ever since we were young Jungkook and I have gotten into fights. On top of it all, he smiles too much despite my constant lack of natural human affection, he still talks to me.

Lisa pov **Before he has a chance to knock, I open the door, Jungkook stands there like a skyscraper. He holds out homework and smiles, his dimples popping out on either side of his mouth.**

Jungkook says "How are you today?". Lisa answer his question with a blank expression, yanking on the papers.

Jk doesn't let go. "Bright and cheery, as always, I see," he says.

Lisa rolled her eyes. She yanked harder, successfully tugging the papers out of his hand.

She moves to close the door. Jungkook shoves his foot in the door and says "Usually, when someone goes out of their way to bring someone else their homework for the hundredth time, they expect a thank you."

I smile sarcastically. "Thank you." My smile dissolves. "Now, move your foot before I slam this door and break it."

He steps back with a smile. "Yessir."

I slam the door.

Unfortunately, his foot was no longer in my line of fire.

........