If we say Goodbye

Chp# 8

I sob against Jungkook's chest, soaking his shirt.

He stays completely still, except for the soft and steady patting of his
hand on my back.

I can't seem to get the image of Jimin's lifeless face out of my head

"Hey," Jungkook says in a soft voice. "You're going to be okay."
I cry harder, "I was-they were . . ."
I don't deserve to be okay.

He tries to take a step back, but I won't let him go."They were packing up his room," I sob.

"Look at me," he says, moving his hands from my back to cupping my
face.

He rubs my tears away with his thumbs. He's inches away, staring into me with his deep  brown eyes.

"Tell me what you see," he says.
He becomes the center of my attention.

I take in a deep breath. "I see you."
He wipes my cheeks again and say "You're safe with me."

I nod. My breathing begins to slow.
The room comes into view as I step back.

There’s a knock at the door. “It’s probably my parents," i say. "I'll take care of it," he says as he walks toward door, opening it .

"Have you seen Lisa?" Mom asks.

"Yeah, she's here but pretty upset," he says. "Let me talk to her" mom says.

He says “Give her some time. She’ll come to you when she’s ready.”

I’ve never had anyone stand up for me like this. Caleb is patient, and I like that about him.

“Fine,” she says “But I want her home before nine.”

He walks back at me and say "she's gone."

"Thank you," i say. There are  five feet between us, and  I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I've desire for him to wrap his arms around me again.

“Why don’t we get out of here?” he says. I nod as a okie.

The Theater is almost empty as movie isn't hit anymore. “Does it ever get easier?” I ask, my voice timid.

“It does. When you’re at your worst, you don’t want to ask for help, and when you’re at your best you won’t think you need it.”

"I won't ever talk to someone,' i say. He says “You’re talking to me.”

My eyes widen slightly. He’s right. I am talking to him.

“I’m starting to think you don’t mind me,” he whispers. “Well, I don’t dislike you,” i say.

He says "You've a way with words. Besides, i taped our agreement, we're on another date.” I say

"Its not a date." "Okay, if you say say so" he says n poutted.

Next Day//

Mom knocked on my door and say "Mrs. Jeon jzt called and told me Jungkook got accepted into Seoul university. have you checked your emails yet?"

My eyes widen as i open my emails to check. Mom came in n say "Check." I nod and open it as i turn my face away.

"You are going to Yonsei" Mom says as she smiles.

I open my eyes n say with a timid smile "I'm going to Yonsei." I should be happy but it doesn't feel right.

My phone busses with a text from Jungkook. My heart aches at the thought of leaving him.

I don't know what we are. We're not dating and aren't friends either. Still my stomach flips.

Time skips//

Jungkook pulls the car infront of his friend house. We both get out n walk in a basement through stairs , the music stops and a guy came toward us.

"Hey man!" he said with a smile. "So this is Jhope," Jungkook introduced. Jhope looks at me.

I wave introducing "hey! I'm Lisa."

Jhope eyes  widen, he turns to Jk n ask "Lisa? Like the Lalisa?"

Jk nods , lightly smiling. Jhope looks toward other boy sitting on drummer n say excitingly " Jk brought Lisa."

“Chill,” Jk says. Jhope says lightly “You didn’t tell me you got your dream girl.” “We’re just friends,” Jk says.

Other boy came over n say "Hey! I'm Taehyung." I wave at him. “Make yourself comfortable,” Jungkook says.

He n the boys walk toward instruments. I sat on sofa. His eyes meet mine and he smiles. He n the boys chat for some seconds.

Then....

He holds the guitar. I watch him as he strums the first chord, I’m hooked. I can’t look away.

I'm mesmerized. By His looks. His voice. By the way he’s consumed by the melody. I want him closer.

Time skips//

Jungkook got a call and we gotta rush back. "What's wrong?" i ask.

"My mom has an interview in Incheon ." I ask “Whats so bad about it??”

He sighs and say “She wants it to help pay our college tuition. She wants me to go to Seoul university, but I don’t even want to go there.

“Tell her that,” I say. “I don’t know how to. It’ll break her heart.” He's staying  calm but I don't think he is.

We get out of car and Mrs Jeon came out, she says "I'm running late for interview, here's house keys."

"Wait. Don't go, one job is enough for you" Jungkook says.

"No, its not enough," Mrs Jeon say.

His hands are shaking, and his eyes start roaming, looking for an escape. He starts walking toward the garage.

I run into the house after Jungkook.

The drums continue to echo through the house. It's as loud as thunder.

I inch closer "Jungkook!'. He doesn’t stop. He plays harder. I slide my hands around his waist,  hugging him. “Jungkook,” I say, close to his ear. I hold him tighter.

“Don't” he whispers. “I might actually start to think you like me.”

I whisper back, “Maybe that’s what I’m trying to tell you.”

______

thanks for reading :)