If we say Goodbye

Chp# 7

Next day//

I step into the hallway. “There you are,” Jungkook says, jogging to catch up as I pass the gym doors.

I turn around, slowing down and ask “What are you doing?” He smiles and says “I was going to sit with you.”

Behind him, Rosé steps into the hallway.

Goosebumps rise on my arms and my heart races. I don't want Rosé to see me with Jungkook.

I grab Jungkook's ’s arm and pull him into the gym, hiding behind the bleachers.

He says “What’s—” I cover his mouth with my hand, pushing him against the wall and say “Be quiet.”

His eyes widen, full of questions. I slowly realize what I'm doing. I hate being touched, yet my hand is on his lips.

His lips. Each breath he takes tickles my hand. He gently touches my wrist, pulling my hand away from his face.

I step back. “Sorry, I—has anyone ever told you that you talk too much?”

I rub my neck, feeling embarrassed. “I just needed you to stop talking.”

He nods, eyes wide.

Why did I do that? I’m aware of my personal space. I never cross the line into someone else’s. My face burns.

“Let’s pretend that didn’t happen,” i say and step out into hallway. Rosé's gone.

"Who are we hiding from?" Jungkook whispers, standing close behind me.

I jump and turn around. He's too close. I should move back, but I can't. "I'm not hiding," I say.

"Are you sure? Because if you weren't hiding," he points behind him, "what was that?"

"I said to act like nothing happened."

He blushes. "I don't think I can do that."

After School//

Rosé texted me to tutor her at her mother's restaurant. So, Jungkook drived me here.

Rosé comes and sit down.
"Hello" Jungkook say. "I was wondering if your band can play at winter formal?" Rosé asks.

"Well, I'll ask them but they'll not say no," he replies. Rosé smiles and say "perfect and lisa, I'll jzt come in 5 minutes." She walks away.

I turn towards Jungkook. He's sitting beside me.

I say "You've a band?" "Yup and i was hoping you could see our performance at formal?" he asks.

"Do i look like someone who wears dresses and dance?" i say rolling my eyes.

He laughs and say "You can wear sweats. I wouldn't care. You look good in everything you wear."

I blush and looking away. "Still No. Also you can leave. Dad's going to pick me up. We're going for movie" i say.

"Well still I'm gonna sit for some more time" he says.

After my tutoring session ends, Jungkook still sitting beside me.

My phone buzzes "Dad; Sorry, I won't be able to go to movies today. Your Mom needs help with something, but I will make it up to you."

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks. I shake my head, refuse to make eye contact and say “He’s not coming.”

“Why not?” he asks. I bite my cheek, hoping the tears in my eyes won't fall.

Rosé asks "What happened?"

I walk past her, straight into Jk's car. He follows me as he passes, whispering to Rosé "its her dad."

His hand lands on my shoulder, slowing me down. “Tell me what’s wrong. Plz.”

I jerk his hand away and say “Don’t touch me.”

He takes a step back. “Okay, I won’t, but plz talk to me. Holding all this in isn’t good for you,” he says.

I say “What do you know?"

Jungkook starts driving, I continue "I don’t need you to fix me. All I need you to do is drive me to school. That’s the only reason I’m doing these ridiculous dates in the first place.”

He grabs our contract and tear it down. He says “I know you weren’t interested in me, but I really thought we could be friends. I’m done being treated like garbage. I’ll drive you back home, but... this is the last time.” He laughs coldly.

“Stop the car,” I whisper.

“Why?” he says. “I’ll walk home,” I say.

“I’m not going to make you do that" he says, accelerating car.

“Stop the car!” I scream.

He slams on the brakes. "Are you crazy?" he says. I got out of car.

“I’m not leaving you here like this,” he says.

“I’m not a child. I don’t need you treating me like one. Now, get lost.” I say as my eyes burn.

There’s a torn expression in his eyes, but eventually, he drives away.

After entering home, when I reach the top of the stairs, I freeze. Jimin's room door is open. The closer I move toward his room, the more my heart races.

Mom is next to his bookshelf pulling books off, and Dad is putting his clothes into one of the boxes. “What are you doing?” I say.

We shouldn't be here. As long as we don't open the door, we can tell ourselves Jimin is alive. Tears well up in my eyes.

“This is what you needed to do? You stood me up for this?” i scream at Dad. “Lisa, that’s not what happened,” he says.

I can’t see anything through my tears. My head becomes so heavy.

The accident was my fault. Jimin turned up the music. It was too loud. I turned it down, taking his phone to turn it off. I held it out of reach. His eyes darted around. Then, unbuckled himself.

A car slammed into his door. Glass shattered around him. His body was violently thrown against the dash, and then back into his seat. blood dripped from his forehead.

“Jimin!” I yelled. My chest burned, eyes wide with tears flowing.

I held his bleeding face in my hands. “Open your eyes!” I screamed.

He stayed lifeless.

I deserve to be dead. Not him. And I never got to tell him sorry. Tears pour out of me in violent sobs.

My breath is sucked out of me, and my chest heaves as I gasp for air. “Let’s talk about this,” Mom says.

I shake my head. “We were fighting over the music, and I—I can’t . . .” I’m suffocating.

Dad’s expression changes. “You what?” He moves closer to me, hands on my shoulders.

I can’t breathe. I have to get out of this room. I rush out of room.

“Lisa!” Mom calls after me.

I don’t stop running until I’m outside, knocking on Jungkook’s door. My fist hits again and again.

I don’t know why, but at this moment, he’s the only person I can run to. The door flies open, and Jungkook is there.

Every piece of anger from earlier melts away from his eyes when he sees me. “What’s wrong?” he asks.

I collide into him, burying my face against his chest to cover my sobs.

He staggers back, but I cling to him.

His heart speeds up. And, after a brief hesitation, his arms wrap around me tightly, holding me together.

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