The Diary of a Closeted Middle Schooler

Prologue: Why Must We Be Tortured?

Hi. My name's Maxwell (I go by Max), and I'm twelve years old and about to start 7th grade. I'm writing this in the dead of night because if I do it any other time, it's entirely possible for my mom to barge into my room, see me writing, and then tell me to give her the diary to put away because "diary's are for girls", as she always says when she catches me writing in a journal.

My twin brother, Marcus (we call him Mark), says to "ignore her because diary's aren't just for girls and she'll never understand that."

So here I am, writing this at 3 in the morning, and having no idea where to begin. Well, I guess I should tell you about me and my family before I dive into this book and start getting deep and personal.

My full name is Maxwell Henry Wilson and I'm in what my parents call "the most confusing stage of life." I am most definitely confused by letters being in math and the parts of a cell ( you can thank my summer homework for that information), but if there's one thing I'm certain on, it's that I don't feel right. It's like I know I'm something I'm not supposed to be. I've struggled with this all my life, wanting to be like the girls in my classes with long hair and high voices, and have come to the conclusion that I'm trans.

That's one of the reasons I'm so adamant about being called Max, because it's a gender neutral name, but it still doesn't feel quite right. My brother's the only one who knows this.

While we're on the topic of my brother being the only one who knows my deepest secret, let's talk about him. Marcus, Mark as we call him, is my paternal, or identical, twin. He is my best friend, and is the most amazing brother anyone could have. We don't fight a lot, which throws off our parents, but that's just how we are. Anyway, Mark has a secret, too. Marcus is homosexual, gay for those people who don't know what that means.

And you know what the best part about both of our secrets is? Both of our parents are extremely religious Christians!

Our mom is a forty year old African American woman who can be, frankly, quite terrifying at times. As I said in the last paragraph, she is extremely religious and thinks people who are part of the LGBTQ+ should go to hell. Yay me.

Our dad is the same as our mom, except he's an extremely religious African American man.

Both of my parents have the same mindset, which is bad for me and Mark. I wish they could see that being different from them isn't a bad thing.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't dislike all Christians, just most of them. The homophobic, transphobic, and racist ones. Oh, and the ones that are just bad people. But, you know, all in a day's bad things!