Life Goes On (The Walking Dead)

Chapter Six

This time when I woke up I was alone. I couldn't help but feel disappointed.

I stretched before getting up. I was over my weakness from yesterday, my emotions neatly tucked away. I couldn't afford to act like that, especially not my first couple days here. I didn't want the group to write me off as weak.

I was already going to have to work against the 'men are superior and women are weak' stereotype so I needed to be tough. Which wouldn't be a problem because I am tough.

I never cried as a child, not even when I got stitches along my jaw, barely noticeable, and up my thigh. I grew up on a farm, it made me tough, it made me strong. My dad taught me Southern values and they'd never led me wrong in my life. When I started martial arts I found out that even though I wasn't a natural, you can learn just about anything. Sometimes strength doesn't matter, but the intelligence and technique.

The only thing that held me back was guilt. I couln't stand to hurt anybody, emotionally or physically. It was a huge disadvantage in this world and it made my old life hard too.

I winced, recalling my sister hurting me. She knew I wouldn't retaliate in fear of hurting her so she had free reign in her blows. I remembered her swinging her fist, hitting me in the throat. Startled, I didn't have time to block the punch that came to my face. When I stumbled backward choking in pain, she grabbed onto my shirt pulling me in only to knee me in the gut. I curled up trying to ease the blow and she shoved me to the ground, kicking me back. I tried to stumble away from her but I caught a kick to the face.

I remembered I had blacked out and awoke alone on the floor. I had gotten up to look in the mirror when I realized I had bled onto the floor. I quickly cleaned it up before looking in the mirror. My face was swollen and blood had dried crustily at the edges of my nose and mouth. My eye was almost swollen shut, completely blackened. My nose almost looked broken and had spurted blood. My lip was busted on the bottom and top. I had started crying right then and there. Not because I was in pain, but because my sister had done this. I didn't understand how she could hurt me like this, why she wanted to. It hurt because I knew I would never hurt her like that. Even though she was older than me by two years, I was the one who protected her. She repayed me like this. Even worse than her physical blows were her emotional ones. She always spoke cruely to me, unless we were in public, or she was having an unusually good day. The sickest part? I always forgave her. No matter how much I wanted to hate her, to hold a grudge, I couldn't.

I remember the next day going to school and lying to my friends, saying I had an accident on the farm. They believed me. I wasn't sure if it was because I was a good liar or because they didn't care enough to ask more. Either way, I was hurt and let down.

I shrugged the hurt off, the best way for me to deal with pain was to pretend like it wasn't there. It'd worked well enough for me so far.

I changed into my other clothes carefully, stretching my muscles. I grabbed my sword and slung it over my back. Its familiarity comforted me.

I walked out of the tent, pausing to look for Rick. Today I would make myself useful, but I knew we would be leaving today so I wasn't sure what to do.

I spotted Rick talking to Daryl, so I cautiously started to walk over to them. As I got closer I could start to hear their conversation.

"Ye don't know nuthin'" I heard Daryl hiss.

"I know more than you think. Merle told me he walked in and saw you two in the same bed, your arm around her"

I could see Daryl scowl and I felt a blush creeping onto my face. Ricks voice held an accusatory tone and I knew what he was implying. He thought we'd had sex. God this couldn't get any worse. Then I thought of the hickey Merle left. I inwardly groaned, Rick thought that was proof I'm sure.