NOT UNTIL I MEET HIM

14- Been a month.

In the quite of the night,I sit and ponder,
Missing you, my heart grows fonder.
A month has passed since you went away,
Yet in my thoughts,you forever stay.

🌸💕

It's already been a month since I last talk to him and it already feels like decade I miss him so much..is he usually that busy?

It was my first time waiting for him like that and it's strange I rarely messaged him since we started talking and though I say him fake when talking to others but..why do I miss him?!

Everything is going good in my life! My University,my relationship with friends and family,my health and every damn thing but not good when it comes to him.

It has never happened that he never messaged me. I feel bad for him he can't even rest. Well it's okay if he can't find any time to talk but atleast I hope he's taking good care of himself.

He told me once that he's working on a solo project maybe he found his muse I am happy for him I wonder who she is or maybe who it is?

I will ask him once he comes back but I wish that atleast he would've told me before leaving like that.

I hope he comes soon..I am waiting for him and I hate it!!

Is he also thinking about me..? I shouldn't think about all of these but these thoughts were messing up with my head.

I thought how can I prevent my overthinking and these stupid thoughts that were on a loop on my mind and decided to have a cold coffee while sitting in a balcony

Where wind played with my hair and made me feel better as I watched the setting sun felt relieved as "I miss you" came out of my mouth and a tear rolled down my eye.

🍂🤎

As I finally done my recording of the new song and took a seat while I leaned back sighing and drank some water when I realised.. it's been a month since I last talked to her!

Oh this schedules of mine I sighed again sometimes I hate them but love it at the same time.

Being an idol is hard basically being "me" is hard and trying to have a girl who doesn't believe me is harder trust me when I say this.

I was more frustrated when I realised that I didn't informed her before leaving like this and "fuck" came out of my mind as I felt bad how she must be feeling.

Hell I am sure I'm gone! Well I don't feel bad for not informing Zoya she is irritating and me the most famous idol can't get rid of this stupid well I shouldn't say like that..it was my fault earlier

However I really want get rid of Zoya it's been enough I want to be with Anaya she holds something very special in her eyes in her heart and I am sure she holds a pure heart and now I am feeling more guilty for not informing her

Oh Anaya I hope you're fine I want to talk to you but I really can't even a message you as I know I won't be able to get back you are becoming my possession, addiction, obsession.. and all of the beautiful words that  describe my love for you.

As I looked at the moon I remember the night when I went all of the way downstairs with just a shirt on to click a beautiful photograph just like her.

A little chuckle left my mouth as I resemble her face infront of my eyes and looked again at the moon as I told moon how much I regret for not informing her and how beautiful she is and how she makes me feel I hope she is missing me too

But I also hope she curse me for once for not informing her I literally growled as I took my face in my palms thinking about her.