I Guess I'm A Traveler

Chapter 16: Spinning and Convulsing (Ned)

Chapter 16

Ned

Spinning and Convulsing

I was in a deep sleep when I was suddenly shaken awake. I was pulled out of the dream slowly, however, this time I was glad. I blinked a few times, and realized I had been dreaming. There was a feeling of relief that washed over me instead of annoyance of having woken up. I was having I hard time remembering my dream, however, my body was still undergoing it’s post-effect. I could feel my heart still fluttering and that familiar ache in my stomach that only meant that my anxiety had been on a tortuous ride.

            “God,” I moaned, as I felt a nudge on my side.

            I opened my eyes once again, taking in my surroundings. I could tell by the lighting in my room that it had to still be dark outside; and sure enough, my clock was telling me that it was only 2:00; a.m.

            “Oh, no,” I muttered as everything around me started to continue to spin. Everything I did at the party came back to me and I suddenly bolted up and out of bed, and I ran for the bathroom. I just made it to the toilet in time to puke up everything I had left in my stomach.

            My body was left shaking even harder once I pulled away from the toilet and flushed down my throw-up. The worst part about that was it wasn’t even because of the drinking, really, it was all my anxiety. I could hear footsteps had followed me to the bathroom earlier and I turned to see who was standing at the door, watching me. Dad, of course. He was very angry. Very, very angry. He was fuming, struggling to find words that could express his rage.

            “Y- you are a goddamn ungrateful little punk!” he shouted.

            If I hadn’t been so terrified, and so pent up with worry at that moment, I probably would have laughed at the words he had used. However, at this moment I found it impossible to laugh at anything he did. I was terrified, everything was coming back to me. My messy room- the fact that someone had broken into my house and searched my room. And the fact that I had two outraged parents on my back. The knowledge that I was going to have to go on another mission soon; and I had hardly gotten any sleep, and I was still somewhat drunk.

Everything was so overwhelming and my body and mind were struggling to figure out what to do. Suddenly my body and head were telling me to run out of the room- to escape.  The after-scent of my vomit mixed with the rolling of my gut and the sight of my angry dad was so much- it was too much. And the next thing I knew I was convulsing, laying on the cold, tiled ground next to the toilet, and shaking.

            “Oh- oh God,”  I could hear my dad faintly exclaim.

            But my brain didn’t process it. My vision had gotten smaller, as if I were looking through some sort of tunnel. Everything had gotten really hot and I was struggling to breath properly. I stared at the wall in front of me as my body convulsed and I thought for a moment I was going insane. My chest was hurting- too, and I panicked even more with that knowledge.

            Is it possible for a sixteen-year old to have a heart-attack?

            After convulsing for what seemed like forever, and staring at the darkened wall in front of me, I thought that I was going to die, which made me panic even more. I was wondering when it was going to stop- when I was going to actually meet my end, at sixteen.

            Not even killed on a mission- killed because of my unhealthy body.

            But then, finally, my body had started to stop shaking and I was starting to breath better and the room was still spinning, yes, because I was drunk, I guessed. And my vision was starting to clear when I blinked but I didn’t want to open my eyes, so I kept them shut. And I realized that I had started to cry- in fear. I wasn’t ready to die, not at all. I opened my eyes and stared at the wall and didn’t dare move, I didn’t think I wanted to move ever again, not after experiencing that. But, there was also the fact that I wasn’t very sure that I could move.