A new beginning

Chapter 2

When I breathed, the air did not feel as heavy as it had before because of the trees that scattered dark shadows across the scenery. Now that my mind wasn't so focused on preventing damage to the car, details surfaced to me that had never become apparent to me before: the smell of wildflowers, the way the sun was shining through the branches, and even a bird's song in the distance. The inside was neatly left behind, even as chaos spread across the world. The seats were black with red stitching; the desk board was also black; and where the radio sat, there were only buttons for the air conditioning and a few more for very simple things—not many gadgets. Having not listened to the radio in so long, I doubted that it even worked anymore. As I sat there, contemplating the radio's functionality, I couldn't help but wonder if it held the power to transport me back to a time when life was less complicated and the world felt more serene. I clenched my jaw and hit the button. The first thing that I heard was the white overlapping noise. I tried another channel, but the same noise came through again. I tried a few more channels, and it was still the same meeting sound. Growing irritated, I just turned off the radio and grabbed one of her CDs to put in. Music was a source of comfort, a way to relax and take my mind off of the constant noise, even for a moment. The loud music boomed through the speakers. I was always into rock and roll; it reminded me of road trips with my sister, Senna. The sound of her beloved music has always brought me solace and delight. Unconsciously, I pressed down on the steering wheel with such force that my knuckles turned white. A wave of grief and pain made my whole body tremble, and tears were already running down my cheeks again. The pain was still unbearable; it felt like a part of me had died alongside my sister. As the music blared, memories of our adventures flooded my mind—the laughter, the singing, the feeling of freedom on open roads. It was in those moments, I could momentarily escape the overwhelming grief and find solace in the familiar melodies. But as the song ended, reality crashed back in, reminding me that she was gone and I was left to navigate this world without her. Without looking, I swerved the car to the side of the road and exited the vehicle. I kneeled beside the car, seeking a moment of peace and solace. My chest hurt from the pain of my heart beating so fast. I was not unfamiliar with panic attacks; when my sister was still alive, she would have reassured me that I was safe and that everything would be okay. Now, without her presence, I had to seek solace within, attempting to quell the turmoil brewing inside me. Closing my eyes, I took deep breaths, desperately searching for a sense of stability amidst the chaos of grief and fear. I removed the knife from its holder. The weight felt familiar. I counted to one hundred and slowly breathed in and out. As I focused on my breath, I reminded myself that I had overcome panic attacks before and that I possessed the strength to do so again. With each exhale, I released the tension in my body, allowing myself to gradually regain control over my racing heart. The smooth rhythm of my steady breaths served as a soothing mantra, reassuring me of my ability to navigate through the darkness and discover inner peace. After a slight recovery, I proceeded to assess my surroundings. I was still not out of the dark forest area. The darkness of the forest seemed like it would never stop. The dense trees above blocked out most of the sunlight, adding to the eerie atmosphere. However, I noticed a faint glimmer of light in the distance, giving me hope that there was an end to this seemingly endless forest. I took a deep breath and continued on, feeling empowered after overcoming my inner struggles. With a swift motion, I inserted the knife I was holding into its holder. Circling the car, I grabbed the map and opened it on the hood, with a stone in each corner to keep it from blowing away. My gaze immediately landed on my hometown, which was not exactly a tourist hotspot. My mouth curled up a little. I always thought it was a nice place to grow up because it felt secluded, with a close-knit community where everyone knew each other. If someone was sick, they always brought a casserole to your door. I traced the paths I had previously taken with my index finger; there had been numerous side roads since they were considerably safer at the start. "You should never stay in an open area for too long." My sister always told me. I could still hear her voice and see her piercing green eyes staring at me, waiting for an answer. I always followed her instructions, especially when the sun fell and the shadows lengthened. There could be a threat of danger lurking in the darkness, and I trusted my sister's intuition more than my own instincts. As night fell, the once soothing silence turned suffocating, engulfing me in a sense of unease. I realized I wasn't far from Pandora's city; I hadn't been there since I was ten years old, and Senna was fourteen when we went with our mother. "Shall I do it?" As I considered my options, I saw a few advantages: I could seek refuge and maybe even score food in a wide range of locations. But I also knew that venturing into Pandora's city would come with its own set of risks. I couldn't ignore my curiosity and longing to explore beyond my current boundaries. Taking a deep breath, I made up my mind: "Yes, let's go to Pandora's city." I folded the map, slung the stones over my shoulder, and climbed back into the hot car. On the passenger side sat my bag, and what I hadn't noticed before was a box on the ground. With the box so close to my feet, I was compelled to take a closer look. I undid the latch and opened the lid to find an old, broken compass inside. The discovery intrigued me, and I couldn't help but wonder about its history. I wondered who the previous owner might have been. As I held the broken compass in my hands, I couldn't help but imagine the adventures it had guided its previous owner through. The worn-out engravings on its surface hinted at a rich and mysterious past, fueling my curiosity even more. I decided to keep the compass as a token of my own journey to Pandora's city, hoping it would bring me the same sense of wonder and discovery. Before I could get to Pandora's city, I had to drive for a little while.