Twisted Love

Forgiveness doesnt forgive the heart

"I'm coming in alright?.." I say waiting a few seconds before opening the door.

I open the door, clothes all over the room and bunch of junk food on the desk and a lying Bradley in the bed

"Bradley? You okay man?" I said walking inside

Silence.

"Um you haven't showed up in a few days, I was wondering if your okay?" I say worried.

Just by looking at the room you could tell he's not okay.

"...what.are you doing here Max?" Bradley quietly asks

Max? He never calls me by my name.

"Um! I uh- I just wanted to check up on you. You feeling okay? You haven't been to school in a hot minute."

"I'm fine." He says strongly.

I take a deep breath "are you sure? The others say you haven't been out of your room in awhile." I say reaching a hand out towards him

"I said I'm fine Max!" Bradley says quickly sitting up and grabbing my wrist
Dark circles were under his eyes, like he hasn't slept in days.

I stare at him, worried.
"Bradley... you look like you haven't slept in days. Your rooms are bigger mess than mine, and you haven't showed up in days.. you're not okay."

"Look.. I'm fine. I'm just.... Not feeling that well that's all." He says lying back down

I don't know how he thinks he can lie straight to my face especially when he looks like that?! I mean come on man!

"Alright! Time to get up buddy!" I say while lifting the covers off him

"Max!-" Bradley says

What I saw.. was something I never expected from him.

Blood. All over his legs. Line after line after line. All scarred. Some still lightly bleeding.

Shocked. I fall to the floor.
"I- you- you weren't-" Bradley stumbles to find the words to say while trying to cover back up

"Bradley." I say sternly

Fearful. Bradley looks at me.

"Why?..."

"Why would you ever do that to yourself?..." I say my voice breaking

It hurts looking at him knowing he's in pain emotionally, physically and mentally.

"Max- I'm sorry- I-"

"Why Bradley!" I yell

"Because Max!" He yells back

"Because doesn't answer anything!" I yell tearing up

"Because I'm not good enough! Do you get it now Max!" He yells tears rolling down from his blueish, gray eyes

I paused for a minute.

"What makes you think that Bradley?.."

"Why do I need to tell you." He says laying back down and turning around

"Because! Even tho you were rude to me since the day you met me, I still care about you! You're still a human being Bradley! You still have feelings! So what makes you think that doing that is okay!"
I say turning him back over and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt.

We look at each other for a split second before Bradley starts talking.

"I..... a- most-" he says quietly I can't hear what he said

"Speak up Bradley."

"I almost killed you and tank!" He says his voice breaking

"All because I had to win a stupid game I didn't want to be apart of in the first place!"

He breaks down. Seeing him like this was torture. I hate seeing people in negative moods. It really makes me feel sad and empty.

I sit down next to him

I bring him to my chest to comfort him.

Crying. Clenching his hands on my shirt.

I held him for awhile.

He held onto this burden since the X games.

We all apologized and forgave each other since it was all acted on by anger and rage.

But....

I guess Bradley could forgive everyone but himself....