A Match Into Water

The Tornado

Xuan

"I just keep seeing him in my dreams," Xuan said into the phone, "and when I do, I wake up in a cold sweat and feel like something's there."

As he said this, he glanced behind himself. Of course no one was there, why would there be? But the uneasiness that his dreams evoked worked overtime, making Xuan's nerves tense up and his hands shaky.

"Have you tried sleeping in a different place?" Suhua asked from the other end of the line.

"Huh? No, why would I?"

"Sometimes, certain places can resurge memories, even when we're not actively thinking about them," she explained, "so perhaps that's why you're having nightmares?"

"Maybe, but where else would I sleep?"

"You can sleep in a different complex, in the medical bay, or even a hotel room?"

There was a hotel he heard was super nice for super cheap just outside the city. He'd never even seen the place, let alone been inside, but maybe that was just the right conditions he needed.

"Thanks for the advice," he said, smiling as if she could see him, "I'll think about it."

"Alright. Is there anything else you're feeling?"

"Nope!" he said cheerily. Suhua giggled from the phone and said her goodbyes, Xuan repaying them with his own.

His smile and warmth faded as if it were never there to begin with the moment he heard the beeping of an ended call.

Why was he stagnating behind? It felt like only his friends were still upset, like only Suhua and Raven were willing to listen to him, while everyone else went about their days as if what happened to Ling was a normal Tuesday.

It wasn't fair. Why did he have keep up appearances while Raven publicly announced Ling's departure? Who was so important in the public, the crowd of overstimulating and uncaring people, that he had to keep smiling despite screaming inside day in and day out?

He saw red as he grabbed a duffle bag, stuffing it with his pajamas and clothes for tomorrow. He couldn't stop the raged tears as they gushed down his face like a waterfall, leaving puddles on the duffle bag.

...

This was a daily occurrence. Yuuhime would call and talk for about an hour in the morning. Raven would find and talk to him during lunch break. Suhua would call him and make sure he was ok and try offering medically backed ideas. Sometimes, his friends would come over to his apartment and be with him.

So why did he feel the exact same way he did the day Ling died?

He opened his eyes and found himself on the ground, clutching the bag in his arms. His sleeve was wet, and he could taste saltiness on his cheeks and lips. He slowly got up and looked around, noting a new hole in his wall.

Ling wouldn't want this of him. Ling would want him to stand tall and continue doing good, still smiling as he gave hope to those around him.

Ling couldn't want anything anymore, though, so Xuan simply stared at the steaming hole.

He really had to stop using his Esper powers on his walls, he was running low on the money to fix them.

He left the hole and bag to get some water. He could feel his throat drying up, as if he had screamed Bloody Mary.

Maybe he had. He couldn't quite remember.

The tap spluttered water out, into a plastic cup Xuan held under the faucet. He dunked ice into the cup and chugged it down, the sensation of icy water trickling down his chin not bothering him in the slightest.