Clay

For Clay

itsCLAYYYYYYYYY

Hey....the picture I was trying to show you was this.

That's me.

Honestly, I'm so happy I look so nice but is struggling on the inside....but who isn't. Everyone I know is struggling. We all got our struggles.

Ik this all will be public.... But...what other way do we got. Pinterest is being an ass to us, so...yeah.

Like I said on Pinterest, just pray and if you want to....always check in on me. I might seam alarmed because I'm usually the first to talk. So when someone does it, it makes me feel wanted.

And I'm not telling that to you to make you do it😅😅, just well....I guess to tell you how I feel. Just a statement out there. Nothing to big.

Bruce once did it and I was quite surprised. I guess because he saw I followed em and this wasn't right after I followed em, it was long afterwards I did. He followed me and then sent it. How do I know it was around the same time....I checked the timing of both updates and it had close numbers

He followed me back then 3 minutes later sent the "hi, how are you doing"

No one normally does that with me so I took that as a shocker.

In real life, my so called."family " doesn't talk or communicate with me, so on here when someone does that.....I feel wanted. I feel like I'm seen for the first time in a long time. I feel special in that persons eyes, thats how Bruce made me feel.

And when candy girl told me that you have been needing to reach out but couldn't..... How I felt was like

"omg!!! Someone cares this deep about me? I wanna cry, I feel so loved"

Like clay.....you reaching out to me like this. I just wanna cry I feel so happy. I honestly have full trust of you. Your care, to me....is like an angle reaching out to me. And I love help.....

But I can't speak a lot about my demons.....I was talking to dorinda. An old friend of my moms that helps with women stuff every Thursday.

Her names dorinda but I call her dindie.

So I was talking to her about what I'm going through....I can't Acknowledge them or speak to them.

I trust her and god and try to follow the right path. I see and understand you wanna help, but sometimes we gotta let god do his miracles. Work his magic.

I care so much about you. And I sense how bad you feel for not knowing how to help. But, honestly... Sometimes there's nothing you can do. And I think if I reach out to you like this....it'll put you at ease. That's all I want. I want you to feel happy when thinking about me....if you ever do. Not saying-ah whatever💀💀.. I want you to know I'm doing what I can and if you really wanna help, praying will be helpful...and well supporting and checking in will make me happy. I love hearing from you. You make me smile. You all do. But when I see you a smile, same with the others but your more active.

And yes I know the others are busy I understand😏🙄.

And yes you as well, I get that. I don't need the intervention of it.

Your very sweet. And I love you very much and want you to feel....at least okay, yes I'd love for you to feel happy....but no ones always happy. Down times are okay to have. So, I rather see you okay then a I wanna cry stage...and if anything, im also here myself. I won't ignore you either.

You mean a lot. And honestly... In my opinion.... Well, you might think your not fun.....*whispers* your very fun in my eyes😉.

Anyways....this felt good to get out. I wonder if I got any pictures I wanna show you in here first...hold on.

Oh!! This one, next week. I'm getting my hair sprayed for the first time!!!!. I wanted branches color of hair but others kept saying pink and thought of Floyd and I knew his hair was magenta because its the same shade of Poppys and I used to color and draw poppy so I know the hair color. And same with branch as well.

I gotta tell my dad so he can make an appointment.... It's almost Thursday😳😳😳....

Okay, I wasn't finding much more so I kept scrolling. To see if I could send anything to you that would be interesting. This is what I said a bit ago about having a joke family on here.

Trolls in general... Is so therapeutic for me. If I feel depressed or something I try to listen to your songs or branches. It makes me feel like I'm me. But sometimes it feels a bit to happy and I gotta start with a deeper song then make my way up.

I remember when I was crying about something and my friend googled up branch pictures and gave me her phone and I claimed down right away.

Seeing em made me feel better. Same with you. Your an interesting troll. I can't wait to get to know you more😊😊😊.

Love you, thats all I gotta say for now.

Adios