Change Of The Heart

Surprise?

    The entire time I have spent on this earth, I hated it. And truthfully I hated too many things. My interests and hobbies never attracted friends or if it did, it was never genuine. Displeasure is always on the tip of my tongue and maybe that is why I am such a loner.

If I had my art and music, I was fine. Nothing beat me blaring my music while painting something depressing. I don't know why It's so interesting to me, but it is. Maybe there is just something really wrong me, but I think that was already known.

As a child, all I cared about was doing what I was told to do. I never had any friends (still don't). I disliked going outside and sports. I wasn't into anything girly either. So no you could not catch me in a pink dress, with a magic wand and makeup smudged on my face. I just didn't care for it. I love animals and just learning.  Maybe that's why I am obsessed learning about mental disorders and the way the brain works.

To say I was odd character was an understatement. 

As I aged, I did not care for dating or boys or girls. Just everyone was pure drama and annoyed me. So here I am a senior in high school, never been kissed or dated, not even once. I just can't wait till high school is over and I can move onto bigger and better things. Maybe I'll find love, or just have a petting zoo in my house. Either works.

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I know what today is, and I couldn't care less. First day of senior year and I really don't plan on going. That is until I heard my door open with a loud creak and incomes my cheery mother, as she struts towards my window. I try my best to ignore her and close my eyes once again. She started giggling and as I opened my eyes, my mother was smiling at me from my window. And there she goes, pulling the blinds apart and almost immediately, the sun assaults my eyes causing me to close my eyes tight.

     I groan and try opening my eyes, only to squint and be blinded. Somewhere in her direction she said something inaudible. I sighed, sat there looking up at my ceiling and eventually turned over and curled into a ball. Bad choice. What can I say, I am tired!

     " Alyx Nicole!" my mother said as she yanked my blankets away from me, causing me to shiver, " You have school today. You don't want to be late," she said as she took a pillow and jokingly hit me, over and over.

      " Fine!" I said as I sat up looking at her smug expression, giggling to myself. She can't know I found this somewhat amusing. Imagine a grown ass woman pillow fighting her 17-year old child to wake up her up.
      " What?" I eventually asked when I sat up and stretched.

      " I have a surprise for you," she said with a devious look plastered on her face as she walked out of my room.

              Oh no. This can't be good.

    I pulled my legs in front of me and began walking. I am still basically asleep at this point. As I followed her, I notice our house and the state of it. We didn't live in the best house, nor the cleanest. Both of my parents struggle with addiction and we are in the low income class, so I try not to expect too much. As I was strolling through the cigarette stained walls, old, crusty carpet, and molded picture frames, and few dead insects, I finally stopped when she opened the garage door and told me to close my eyes. Not once did I trust her. But I did as I was told.

    I stepped over old tools and cardboard boxes. God, I'm way too clumsy and I'd probably never make it if I ever went blind. As my mind wandered in the place I call a brain I heard my mother drop something, which made a loud noise. What if? No she's too lazy to care about that. Nor did we have the funds for it.

    " Okay you can look now!" she said with a little too much excitement.

     Oh no is this something I have to be excited about? I thought that as I removed my hands and opened my eyes. My mind went blank, my heart stopped, and I was pale. Well more so than usual. I couldn't believe it.

    I blinked. That's all I could do. My mother caught on and led my to it, my heart racing faster and faster, the closer and closer we got.

   " What do you think?" she asked with a worried expression, as she bit her bottom lip.

     "What do I think?" I asked looking at her expressionless, " This is, what's the word? Amazing!" I said as I hugged her, cutting off her circulation.

    " Well I'm glad you like it because it's all yours. No strings attached. No this or that," she said as she handed me my car keys.

"But-How?-We can't afford this," I said as I looked at her with my jaw on the floor. My heart was racing so fast and guilt crept in.

" Don't worry about this, honey. It's an early birthday gift! My baby is an adult now, well in like 3 weeks! I just got so excited, I couldn't wait anymore!," she said crushing my bones in her embrace and rocking me side to side. I swear she is trying to give me whiplash. 

    I still couldn't believe my eyes. She handed me the car keys and It became real. This is my car, the car I will drive till it dies! 

I basically ran over to it and started the engine while leaning back, still in awe. It's old. Really old. Just how I like my vehicles. I believe it's a 1967 International Scout--blah blah, or how I like to call it, my perfect car. I was at peace and I swear If I could, I'd marry the car. 

     " Okay, baby, I think you should get dressed and then you can show off it later," she said basically dragging me out of it, with a big cheesy smile on her face.

     " That's the least I could do for Henry. Oh and by the way I named it Henry," I stated as I closed the garage door, "I'll be back, Henry!"

    Oh how I can't wait to show this off to no one. I mean I guess my  dad will find this cool. He probably already knows. 

Now off to my last first day of high school, I guess it could be worse.