𝗔𝗹𝗲𝘅𝗶𝘁𝗵𝘆𝗺𝗶𝗮 - TMR AU, Minho.

01 - 𝙰 𝚖𝚒𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚛

✦•┈๑⋯⋅𝓜𝓲𝓵𝓪⋯⋅๑┈•✦

Lights are blinding my eyes as i go on the stage. I can't see, but i know who's sitting in the audience without looking.
Not my parents.

Music fills my ears, as i pick up a white rose from vase, which was placed on the stage.

It has thorns, which cut my fingers but it's supossed to be like that.
Back when we were still practicing, scenarist suggested to cut thorns off, so it wouldn't hurt me, but i wanted it to be realistic.

I don't care if it causes pain, it's all part of the acting.

I ran my fingers over the rose, and some petals get small amount of blood on them.
I stand in the center, quietly. This play barely has any words in it. It's just music, and actions that speak by itself.

It's impossible to show your pain only by using words.
Sometimes, words aren't even necessary. Whoever feels the same pain, will understand things with one move.
It is that simple.

Audience is full of people with different kinds of pain.
Stage is also filled with people with different kinds of pain.

I humm along with music.
I keep my voice soft, but it has notes of pain in it. Then it gets quiet again.

I hear whispers from audience. I still can't see them, but i know they feel everything deeply. Otherwise they wouldn't be here.

My white dress gets few red drops on it as i'm still holding a rose.
tears stream down my face.

Shattered mirror appears right beside me. I turn to look at myself.

I see a crooked figure and i put my arms on my waist as i drop the rose.

I turn to the side, clenching my stomach in my hands.

"One more pound. You think she's gonna settle on that? She won't." I hear voices, and i don't look back. Tall boy starts walking around me, talking.

"Voices are stronger than you think. Sadly, it never stops.
She thinks she can make it stop whenever she wants. She can't."

After five minutes of him talking, curtains start to close and i realize that the play is finally over.

As soon as i finish wiping blood from my fingers, my brother rushes in.

"You were amazing!" He hugs me and gives my flowers."you didn't even spoke and it still made people cry, it was crazy." Proud smile forms on his face.
"I couldn't see them. Mom and dad aren't here, are they?" I know the answer, but i still ask.
"Dad wanted to come but he couldn't." Liar.
"Right. You don't need to cheer me up by making up excuses for them. You're here and that's enough for me." I smile and go outside with him.

Thomas is leaned against the car, smiling at me.

"You were good, shorty. For a second i even believed that your tears were real." It was.
"Takes a lot practice to cry whenever i want." I chuckle and lean my head against the window as i get into the car.

Thomas starts the car and i close my eyes as soon as he starts driving.

Mostly, i can't even close my eyes. Neither am i able to sleep without pills, but exhaustion washes over my feelings and now i'm not able to open my eyes.

I do still see him though.
He's standing, not doing anything. But even his face sends signals of fear in my brain.

My heartbeat fastens, but i still can't open my eyes. It's like my eyelids are heavier than anything i've ever lifted.

But it's enough for him to start walking towards me, and i open my eyes.

"Are we going to the bar? I could use some drinking."
"Mila you're wearing white dress with blood here and there. Your mascara is spread around your whole face. Do you really want to go there like that?"
"Then buy me a drink." I smile and face him.
"Absolutely not. You're drinking much lately." Frown forms on Newts face.
"Are you calling me an alcoholic?"
"No. But i'm not buying you a bloody drink."
"Fuck off." I mumble and lean back to my seat.

"Mila?" I humm. "You don't really have a body dismorphia, do you?" Newt asks with slightly concerned look on his face.
"No. I promise it was all part of the acting." Lie.

I try to close my eyes again, but it's like he's getting closer every time.

It's gonna be an afwully long night without an alcohol and sleeping pills.

Heyy, i apologize if this chapter was cringy and not interesting, i hope i'll get better overtime))

Let me know if you have some advices!♡