Ripple- a Bluey Story

Blue

10:30AM

I sat fantasizing about seeing Bluey for the first time since I heard about my parent's death for a while. Then I slapped myself mentally for thinking about how happy I could be, I didn't deserve it. I brought painful memories of my parents to my forefront, feeling so guilty. I curled into a shaking ball just bawling, I tried to be quiet so neither Bandit or Chili would check on me.

It just got worse. The buzzing from last night was back, all consuming. I managed to sneak some foresight into my daze state and snuck over to the bathroom. After searching through some cabinets I came up with soap, a rag, and paper towels just to prevent infection. I went back into my room and closed the door, then grabbed my backpack. I pulled out the whiskey and the razors, the whiskey had to be hidden at all costs, but I could leave the razors in plain sight as long as I kept an actual razor nearby.

After some prospecting, I wrapped the bottle in some clean clothes and put it under my bed. Not perfect, but I doubted anyone would invade my privacy enough to find it. After that task was done, my mind snapped back to the buzzing. I fell over just from the sudden explosion of static in my head. I couldn't think straight, I was clutching my heart from the pain that almost felt real. Tears came naturally, I got up and stumbled over to my desk

I opened the box of razors and took one out, just praying for the buzzing to stop. I put my left leg on my lap and parted the fur on my calf. I lined up the razor and tried to breathe evenly as I made 4 incisions, each below the one before it. My mind started to clear with each droplet of blood from each cut dripping down. I was thinking straight again and started to hold my head in my hands from shame. I had just gone and cut myself again without a second thought. I remembered the supplies I brought and started to clean the area of the wound. It stung but was most definitely better than the pain from the infection in my first cut, which wasn't looking pretty at all. I finished up and am left  with just the aching heart. I just lied on bed and tried not to immediately relapse into self-harm from guilt of self-harm. The world really seems fucked sometimes.

My ears perked up as I made out the sound of a door opening. An audible groan from a feminine voice I recognized followed. I forgot Bluey's room was right next to mine. Even though I had been so excited to see her again, I realized that she would be curious towards my sudden arrival and I would have to tell her eventually, no matter what. I couldn't just avoid her either, this room was starting to get uncomfortable and I suddenly felt a need to leave.

 I stepped out of my room and looked around, taking a deep breath. I saw a familiar blue tail whisk into the bathroom and close the door. I started to prep answers to any possible questions she would have, but I couldn't ever fully prepare for the big kicker. I thought about it for a second and realized I was just staring at the bathroom door right now, If she were to walk out I would look creepy as hell. I repositioned myself back into my room, I would just wait until she leaves and I would meet her wherever she heads to after. 

11:00AM

After about 15 minutes I heard the bathroom door open and footsteps started to head to Bluey's room. I decided to pop out of my room and almost said "Hey Bluey" until I notice it was actually Bingo's footsteps I heard.

"Morning Bingo, have you seen Bluey?" I asked hopefully nonchalantly. I was trying very hard not to seem worried about talking to Bluey.

"Yeah she's in the bathroom trying to pretty up for you, lover boy" She whispered the last part with a smirk. Normally this would have made me blush but I just gave her a glare and she stepped away with her hands up. "Gee, sorry" She said semi-sarcastically as she headed into Bluey's room. I was about to ask why Bingo was in there when suddenly a pair of hands clasped my shoulders.