THE ROAD THROUGH THE FORBIDDEN

CHAPTER VI (AM I MORE OF A WOMAN OR A MAN?)

September, 1988

Geriatrics is this place? - The man threw the question into space and immediately disappeared, running down the stairs. He ran down the corridor as if he was under the influence of some insane hallucination looking for a suitable examination room..

- Looking around at our fellow doctors, I find that we are closer to geriatrics than we think - turned to Tomasz a slightly balding man in a far too large suit.

He walked over to him and sat down in a vacant chair next to him.

- Ready for a bloody PES?

- By all means - Tomasz replied.

His adventure with specialisation was just coming to an end. The four hard years spent under Dr Prot's tutelage had been quite a challenge. He was tired of the tragic cases that came into the hospital admission room, but above all he was tired of covering up Prot's mistakes, arguing with him and saving what was still salvageable. He promised himself that as soon as he left the damn hospital, he would spread the word wherever he could so that the Esteemed Dr Prot would finally be sent into a well-deserved retirement. And he also knew for sure that he would never go back to work in a psychiatric hospital again.

He was happy that as soon as he passed the State Specialist Examination (PES), he would finally be able to officially start working in his profession. He was damn happy about that, but on the other hand he was overwhelmed with concern. He realised that he now had a number of challenges ahead of him, such as deciding what to do with himself next. Should he set up his own clinic or should he work for someone else to start with? He had no money for his own practice, so the latter option remained. Learning from experience, he knew that he would have to try working in several places to avoid running into someone like Dr Frankenstein again.

- Isn't geriatrics tomorrow by any chance? - replied Tomasz. - I think today it's just psychiatry and neonatology.

- I think it is. Of course. Perhaps this boy will come across someone sooner or later who will tell him about it. He should be happy because he'll get another day to repeat the material. Eh, what stress does to people... And you? Are you stressed? - asked the man.

- No, rather not. The only questions I'm worried about are those concerning medical assessment, but the rest should not cause me a problem - he replied.

- It's similar to me, although I'm still concerned about the aetiopathogenesis of mental disorders. That has always given me difficulties. But I'm sure it will be fine. Good luck! - replied the man whose name Tomasz had never recognised.

To be honest, he didn't really feel like getting into closer relationships with other people either. A lot of people were going to get high after the exam to relieve stress. He hadn't planned anything special for this evening. The only thing he felt like doing was sleeping. Even before the exam, he still had a 12-hour long duty behind him, which, of course, Prot couldn't let go of. Tomasz knew that the head of department had done it on purpose to make his life as miserable as possible at the end. As if that wasn't enough, when he had to submit the paperwork to sit for the exam, he asked the head of department every day for a fortnight to give him a wretched professional opinion. In the end, as instructed by Prot, he wrote it himself, but a signature was still required, which the doctor delayed until the last minute.

The exam itself went off without a hitch, and Tomasz was relieved immediately afterwards. He knew he had done great, because he knew the answer to every question and had a positive result in his pocket. So he would soon be starting a new phase in his life, but he still had one case left to finish. Katarzyna. The whole relation has only half satisfied him from the start. Yes, he has fond memories of the moments he spent with the girl. From this relationship he learned a lot about himself, about his body, his own weaknesses and limitations. He took up far too much of his time with this girl, which also meant that she had specific plans for him, which Tomasz did not intend to participate in. He did not turn up for meetings with her parents, planned over the years. His excuse was his work, but he simply had no intention of entering a family he was about to leave anyway. There were weeks when Kasia would not speak to him. Later on, she was clearly getting over it, which created ambivalent feelings in Tomasz. Nevertheless, he had to part with her, especially since he was leaving Prot's clinic in less than two months anyway, so there would be nothing left to connect him with this girl. Sad, but true.