Changes

𝟎𝟎𝟗

Waking up this morning, my eyes darted towards the emerald green dress hanging up on my dresser. It reminded me that I was unorganised, I didn't have a plan on what to do with my hair or makeup, and I didn't even have a date. There were people who wanted to go with me, but I thought I had more time to pick someone i actually wanted to go with. Maybe, I shouldn't have let arrogant and infuriating Draco Malfoy distract me, If he didn't tell me about the dark lord returning and my father, I wouldn't be in this mess.

Then again, I only have myself to blame, I let curiosity get the best of me. And as the saying goes, curiosity killed the cat. I don't know what I plan to do with the information he told me, I'm not passionate enough to do or say anything about it.

Passion is a planned-out list, curiosity is a tiny tap on the shoulder.

I paced around my room, biting my inner cheek, debating if I should start to get ready now, or later. It's only 2pm, I slept in late, the Yule ball starts at 8pm and finishes when the clock strikes 12, midnight.

Before my father left, the preparation of getting ready before balls started at 9am. Mother made me test out all kinds of things, until I was absolutely 'perfect'. I wasn't even allowed to wear the same dress more than once, everything had to be brand new. From ribbons, to skirts, to shoes, everything had to have been ripped away from a price tag twenty-four hours prior.

I might as well get something to eat, I have plenty of time, and I can't remember the last time I had something to eat. On days where there's no lessons there is food in the great hall served 6am-7pm because people wake up at all sorts of hours, so for lazy people, like me, this comes in handy.

As I made my way to the great hall I saw Neville, he was ballroom dancing with his eyes closed, It was as if he was imagining he was dancing with someone. It's sweet I suppose.

In all the books that I've read, the boy and girl fall in love, the boy messes up as usual, the boy makes a grand romantic gesture, the girl forgives him, and it's all happy days. Reality is nothing like that. Quite the opposite actually.

I'd take anyone at this point, maybe I'll even settle for someone who hates my guts, my love life is somehow complicated yet old at the same time. If my love life was an object it would be layered in dust mites and shoved at the back of a wardrobe in a box labelled "old stuff".

I paced quietly to the food stations, there was a variety of different things to choose from but I grabbed some bacon and potatoes, my favourite. I ate as I walked to the Slytherin table, putting some bacon in my mouth every few steps, I was starving.

There was barely anyone at the Slytherin table, 6 or 7 max, i wouldn't say being slytherin is for the weak. You're always being watched, you always have a reputation to uphold, and every small decision chooses how people view you.

Thank Salazar most Slytherins don't care what you think of them.

As I finished up my food and brought my plate to the front to be washed, I overheard some Gryffindor girls behind me whispering, and if someone whispers behind you, you're going to automatically assume that the topic is you.

"Marcus was right, holy Merlin, her uniform does put us all to shame," one girl whispered, "what a tart," the other girl whispered back. They went back and forth, mumbling a few words every now and then.

Marcus this, Marcus that, is all everyone talks about Marcus? He's hardly good looking, and he's definitely not got a good personality, I can kind of understand why the girls talk about Draco Malfoy and swoon over him, but Marcus, seriously?

I'd expect the uniform shame from a boy, but hearing this from a bunch of girls, especially Gryffindor girls, is really pissing me off. It's as if we don't have enough going on in our daily lives, you'd expect them to have a bit of empathy and leave me be.