Endless solo of solitude | Lookism various x reader

1000 years of loneliness.

It's your last few days off school. Before you start out at your new one, of course. Your mother informs you it's an elite all girls middle school. It's not like she has bad intentions, but you're sure she doesn't know most of the bullying occurs between girls. Jealousy. Inferiority. All different reasons which drive their actions.

A cool breeze brushes against your clothes. The hem of your skirt lifts, your leggings underneath acting to cover the skin. This neighbourhood has nothing new to do, though you'll never get tired from walking past all the different stalls on display.

You stand in place, gazing at a window reflecting your figure. Your eyes drift to stare at your appearance. It's the first time you really look at yourself, in casual clothes, and smile. Small blemishes decorate your skin. You lift a finger to shove away some stray strands of hair blocking your view. Your eye bags clear up, too. Spotting the small changes feels so strange. And not in a bad way. Your lips are much more comfortable with your nose. The features must have come to an agreement, you think. It's just right. Like you're finally yourself.

You feel pretty.

From the corner of your eye, you see a hand waving at you. It's an old lady. She has a kind smile, is the first thing you notice about her.

You look back and forth between her stall and the clothing shop you were about to enter. The clothing can wait, you decide. Your feet move on their own, taking you to her.

"Hello, ma'am," you greet, bowing your head politely. She grins in return, her big, brown eyes lighting up, and brushes the gesture off.

There aren't many customers around. It's strange. She sells many different items. Some you're sure the girls and boys your age would love to have.

The older lady nods in approval. She chuckles and says, "Hello to you, too, sweetie."

"You have many lovely items," you say truthfully. A hint of wonder is clear in your tone. She must notice it as well, because she gazes at you with such intensity that you almost shiver. "I'd love to buy something."

"Are you searching for anything in particular?" she asks, her small lips quirking up.

You take a moment to think. "A gift."

"Oh, a gift?" she pauses for a second, as if she didn't expect you to say so. You give her a huge grin and nod. "How lovely!" she exclaims loudly.

Jake's birthday is coming up, you learn from Brad and Jason. They pester him quite a lot, he tells you repeatedly. Exaggeration is almost always present in his words. But you're sure he doesn't mean it, because his actions contrast what he says. His eyes drift to look at them, from the corner of his vision, and you see the fond memories he shares with them.

You've tried asking them what Jake would want for his birthday. It doesn't work in your favour. They react weirdly. As if a birthday isn't worth celebrating. You disagree and frown.

Brad makes a point to remind you of the stars in your gaze when you look at Jake. He whispers it when Jake isn't around. Jason whines in reply and slaps Brad on the back.

You decide to not ask them for help anymore.

You're not sure whether he'd like your gift. It's the thought which matters though. Right?

"It's for a birthday," you say happily. "He's a dear friend of mine, and I'd like to get him something special."

"You..." the kind lady can't find the right words to reply. She settles for squinting her eyes at you.

You blink at her, a dazzled smile playing on your lips. "Is there something wrong?"

She shakes her head, her brows furrowing. "No, I'm sorry. You just remind me of someone I once knew."