"What??? Mom? Wait..." felix spoke in shock as he tried to process the sudden information
"Lix honey, i know it's sudden..but this is urgent, it's because of your father's buisness in Australia. There are some issues that need to be dealt with on time..it's very important, he needs me.... you understand that right?" Felix's mom spoke hurriedly
"But...what about...my..." felix spoke as his eyes widened
"Felix, we talked about this. We will discuss about your dancing thing later... now hurry up, we can't miss the flight." felix's mom sighed
"But mom..." felix spoke feeling upset
"Noo i can't do this....i don't know..why is this happening so fast?" Felix thought stressfully
"I get it honey...but you have to listen to us...and don't annoy your dad about this. This conversation is over...and let your friends know later okay? Pack all your stuff quickly, we will be leaving in a few hours from now, tonight." His mom spoke bluntly
"Mom...no..I've gotta really see my friends-" felix tried to convince his mom but got interrupted
"Felix, we don't have any time left right now for this. Just call them when you get a new phone okay? They won't be that sad about this. Also, it's not like you won't ever see them again..we're just moving back for some time, we don't have a choice..." felix's mom sighed lastly and left
"Mom...but..how...all of a sudden..." felix whispered to himself as he gave up
Felix was confused, he wasn't able to say goodbye to his friends, everything was happening too fast for him. Felix felt upset but couldn't go against it. He had to understand his family's situation, as that's what mattered the most at that moment.
Felix left, leaving everyone behind without a sorry or a goodbye. He left without seeing hyunjin. He couldn't comprehend anything at that moment. He couldn't think straight.
"He might feel horrible..i feel like shit....what would he think? I don't even remember his new number..what do i do? I can't do anything.." felix thought to himself as his mind was racing
Felix felt as if his brain stopped working when they reached the airport. Felix's thoughts were heavier than the luggage he was dragging around.
"How careless...you broke your phone...?? It fell??" Felix's younger sister nagged in a rush
"The moments in it...the memories, the pictures....all gone.." felix spoke to himself as they all hurried up frantically
"Stop frowning felix..i know it's sudden but we need to accept it...i wasn't prepared either, it happend so fast." felix's older sister sighed
"I know....but... atleast you got to say goodbye to your friends." felix mumbled to himself feeling lost
"Come on! You got to see your friends for the last time too..! And so what if you couldn't say goodbye? Don't be sad, they would understand you felix.." felix's mom spoke briskly as she looked at felix's dull face and was trying to cheer him up
"I don't know..." felix thought
"Yeah, it's not the end of the world. You're being more dramatic than me!!" felix's sister whispered to felix lastly
As they all settled in the airplane finally catching their breaths, felix looked down through the planes window, he felt severely upset and was on the verge of tears.
"I don't want to leave...i feel the need to go to hyunjin..and talk to him...and...be next to him..for one time...just for one last time...i want to see him and hug him." felix thought feeling guilty
Felix regretted not talking to hyunjin properly since a long time, felix knew hyunjin wasn't happy with his behavior already, and now when he would get to know about how felix left without a single word or a text, he would feel even worse. Hyunjin and felix were supposed to be best friends. But now, felix felt like every last moment that they spent together were nothing, but the deeds of his own selfishness.
In Australia
"This is my life now...i have to live here... and study in this stupid university...? What about my dreams? My....passion?" Felix spoke to himself as he held his head in dissapointment
"Dad is suffering financially...i shouldn't complain like this...they've done enough already for us.." felix sighed to himself
Felix forced himself to stop thinking about everything that happened but it still effected him. He felt guilty and sad. He missed his friends and especially hyunjin.
Felix wrote a few letters about hyunjin and about how he felt, he knew it was useless but it helped him calm down.
"Seungmin really won?" felix spoke to himself
"It should have been me...what if i had told him the truth...?" felix thought
"Would he hate me?" Felix thought
"He would hate me now anyways, he wanted to see me...he wanted to meet me too, only if seungmin didn't jump on me like that i would've met him.. and could've said goodbye later....could've fixed things between us.." felix spoke in dissapointment
Felix hated how they left on bad terms, misunderstandings, miscommunication and lies. He didn't want this and it kept eating him up inside. He wished he could've done better.
3 months later
Felix got used to everything once again. He tried his best to be a good student and just adjust there again. He missed hyunjin. He also understood his family's circumstances and wasn't happy being back in Australia.
Felix wrote letters again for hyunjin with his own handwriting from himself this time and also sent them to hyunjin back in korea, a few times. But he didn't get any response back. Felix wanted to explain to hyunjin that he didn't mean to upset him and he missed him. Felix couldn't stop thinking about every worse case scenario.
"Does he ignore them? Does he even recieve my letters? Fuck...hyunjin...why..." felix thought nervously
"Why did i ignore you.... why did i act that way...i can't stop missing you..." felix thought to himself as he pressed his fingers against his eyes
Felix blamed himself and felt as if everyone hated him back in seoul now, felix was not doing well, but tried his best so that he could get on his parents good side.
"I wonder how are you? How have you been? What are you doing? Do you miss me too? Do you even think of me?" Felix spoke to himself
"No...i don't love him...i didn't-" felix gasped suddenly
Felix repeatedly, was going through multiple mental breakdowns. He tried to get in contact with seungmin and jeongin but he wasn't able to.
"Did i take too long? I don't even know what really happened...the day Seungmin confessed to hyunjin..." felix sighed to himself feeling sick
"Why can't i get over it? Why do i feel the need to just destroy everything?" Felix sighed in frustration
"He doesn't miss you.." felix thought to himself angrily
"Why did you pretend hyunjin...why didn't you force me...to tell you everything, i might have actually told you my truth and my feelings..." felix spoke to himself in devastation
"Would i have?" Felix thought
"Was it the right thing to do? Is he happy with seungmin? I didn't even get to see their beginning for myself...even if it would hurt me... i went through all that shit...and worked hard on those letters..for what?" felix spoke in agitation
"Why did i fall for you? Why does it have to be this way? Why couldn't everything just be fine?" Felix spoke lowly as he squeezed the pen in his hand tightly
"I'm trying to forget it..it's useless.....but i miss our moments so much...why is it so hard...?" felix questioned himself lastly
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