story of my life- the damnation chapter.

Life Sucks.

Seriously, what the fuck.

I tried my hardest, i always do. I have to throw a surprise party because someone is coming home from their luxurious trip to Mexico. I had to sleep downstairs and watch my two dogs, one with separation anxiety and one on their period, all night. I didnt get a lick of sleep. I stayed up, and pushed through, for them.

7am, i start baking forthis surprised party. I made brownies, and started baking a cake. My grandma comes down, and doesn't give me a second of peace. I am covered head to toe in mess, im sorting out my little sisters mess, the dogs mess, the cake, the oven, and she adds fire to the pile that is a sleeo deprived fourteen year old who is seconds away from an anxiety attack.

I finish cooking, i put the cakes in the oven, and i tell her im headed upstairs so i can atleast get one hour of sleep. Im. Not. Allowed. She makes me wash clothes, the dishes, and i break down. I have been cooking, cleaning, baking, making the dogs breakfast since 4am in the morning. I haven't slept at all and all i wanted was a single second of peace so i could atleast sleep a bit. They're not letting me, im being villanised for needing a break?

Im 14 years old. I have been doing stuff since 4am. Cook, clean, let the dogs outside, make the dogs breakfast, walk your sister to work, cook more, clean more, clean the clothes, look in the mirror and remind yourself that you're nothing at all if you cannot be of service to this family.

And in a way its selfish. Im breaking down because i feel like the world is punching me, punishing me for nothing this time, and all anyone does is make it worse. I just need to sleep. I need a hug. I need someone to care about my wellbeing.