The Last Son

22

"She was the best thing that ever happened to me,"

I didn't know what does that mean but my father always said that whenever we visited Mother's tomb. My siblings and I used to watch as our father's face would twist in misery, as he put his hands flat on where mother's body was resting.

"Before you came, I lived my life for her," He spoke again with his voice shaking. "What a wonderful time she brought with her, each day I spent with her, was better than the day before. There is nothing about her that didn't bring happiness to my soul," He grips the edge of the marble casket tightly.

I looked at Ana who stood on the other side of our father to find her already looking at me. Father reached for Dom and put his hand on Dom's shoulder. Today is the day our Mother passed away. Although we saw her in the video she recorded for us, my siblings and I had no memory of her.

But Father did, and it was eating him alive.

"I couldn't imagine myself without her, but for you, for all of you," He opened his arms, and just like a stone being pulled by gravity, we found ourselves in his arms, "I'll live for you. Our children and my memory of her, are what's left of her. I will cherish all of you, and the memory of your mother until the day I die,"

***

I hear my breathing. It's deep, laborious, and slow.

The brightness came back to my vision, I didn't know I was surrounded by darkness.

It's blurry at first and I find myself kneeling still in front of the door of the ship. My chest feels constricted, pained, and hollow. I feel my body is empty. I feel my blood isn't circulating. I feel the absence of my heart as if it has stopped beating. I look at my own hands and watch them curl into fists as if they did that themselves.

This body is just a shell of my soul, and now, it's nothing.

Mary.

My life with her had just begun.

My life had just begun the moment I laid my eyes on her.

This is not the end.

I cannot let this be the end of us.

Swaying, I try to stand up on my shaky legs, using the metal wall to help me support myself. My breaths heaving and I feel like I have very little control over my own body. Strange. I feel like my soul no longer resides inside my body. So hollow, so empty, so painful, so lonely.

I walk mindlessly until I arrived at the ship's hull.

My eyes are scanning the dead bodies, thoroughly cooked as they are still in their sitting position. Before I couldn't even look at them, now I wish there were more of them.

I wipe the fluid on my lips and notice that it is my blood.

I should feel pain, I think I stopped and waited but nothing came.

I grab the body closest to me and pull it away from the chair. The top layer has melted, but the metal stays in good shape.

I need to get back to her. I need to...

I didn't realize I shouted until I felt my throat scratchy. That's when my ears start working again, hearing myself roaring in pain and agony. No, no. I can't let it be the end. I will not.

I hit the heels of my hand on my forehead, repeatedly trying to gain some order in my own head. I need to do something, what do I need to do?

I look around and feel rage, I start pulling the dead bodies away, hitting them with my fist until both my arms and lungs can't work anymore. If I could cry my face would be wet now, but I can't. Instead, I groan in pain and agony as I try to take the frustration out of my empty heart.