The Promise

Chapter 28

Dinner was quite, I did not even try to conversate, I did not want too, I know I should not be angry with Alex, he only wants me safe and healthy but I am so frustrated that I am angry at everyone. I didn't eat, I couldn't eat but I did stuff some extra food into a napkin for the mice and after dinner I head back into the library. I place the food down and watch the same mouse from last night come to take bit by bit back for the babies. I smile at their little squeaks, it's amazing how such a small gesture can mean so much to multiple living beings. The thunder begins to roll in muffling the cute little sounds of happy mice and the door opens as Alex enters.

"It is getting late" he says as he approaches the chaise to sit next to me, I do not respond. "Look Fran, I know it must be hard to be stuck here but you cannot go out in this still recovering from an illness that remains a mystery, if we knew what it was or how it happened then things would be different" I interrupt him "I think I know but you do not care to hear the answer" I look at him as his jaw tenses "Fran don't" he closes his eyes in frustration "it would make perfect sense, the nasty comments, nasty attitude, her constantly trying to cause me harm" my voice begins to raise as I speak "tell me this Alex, if it were anyone else who worked in this house and they acted the way she does,trying to control everything and everyone, both of us included, would you still have them work here?" I watch him as he runs his hands through his hair in frustration, holding back what he truly want to say "Cecil does not wish to cause you harm, you are being ridiculous, I have been patient enough with you" his voice begins to raise as he stands himself up, I stand up to "she does not wish to cause me harm?" I laugh in disbelief "how do you think I got this Alex?" I show him my hand still bandaged from the deep gash "or this" I show him my other hand and wrist that were still bright red from tea at breakfast " you are not the one who has been patient Alex, I have stayed quite and tried to understand the relationship between you two, I tried my hardest to understand that you care for eachother because she raised you but she is..." I shake my head in anger "nevermind, you clearly have more love for the help than for your wife" I say as I walk out of the library, not giving him a chance to reply.

I enter my room and close the door behind me, sliding myself down it until I am sat on the floor. I cry, uncontrollably with frustration with anger and sadness, I do not feel safe here and it is as if he does not care. I really have tried to be patient and understanding with everything but I have been unsuccessful. The door knocks and the handle twists but I do not move "ma'am, I'm here to help you ready for bed" I hear Winnie's voice faintly through the door "I do not require help tonight Winnie" I try to sound as I normally do but I fear I am not very convincing as Winnie speaks again "are you well my lady?" I clear my throat in an attempt to sound more convincing "quite so Winnie, please enjoy your night" with that it is silent again and I stand, stripping the clothes from my body and climbing into bed, where I continued to cry until I fell asleep from exhaustion.

I did not sleep long before the birds started chirping, I remove myself for the bed and ready myself for the day, heading out into the garden before Winnie was due. As much as I like Winnie I do not wish to see anyone or force a conversation, I walk to the bench in the forgotten garden and just sit. At first I enjoyed the peace with my eyes closed, then I watched a squirrel in the tree above and after that I watched to colourful birds dancing together in the sky. Oh to be a bird and just fly away I thought as I was pulled from my thoughts "you did not attend breakfast" I hear Alex's voice as I look to him approaching from around the corner. "I did not wish too" I continue to watch him as he sits beside me causing the wooden bench to wobble. "I will talk to Cecil if that is what you wish" he reaches for my hand but I pull away "just talk?" I questioned, my tone expressing my irritation. "What do you want from me Francesca?" his voice sharp and beginning to express anger "I want you to be a husband and listen when your wife tells you she feels unsafe with someone's presence in the house" I stand up from the bench and begin to walk away.

"I will not tell her to go, she has nowhere to go, she is family and she has taught me everything I know, I will not chose!" I turn to face him as he stands up to, making his way towards me, I step back. "I am your family and you not choosing makes your choice very clear Lord Alexander,please excuse me" I walk away, I have no more anger just heartbreak. I do not return to the house, I walk along the grounds, further than I ever have before, I do not know what to do with myself anymore. I feel sick, my head is spinning and my heart racing. How will we get past this? He chose her, even without saying it he chose her, am I suppose to live my life in fear? Does it make me a bad wife to disagree and disobey?