THIS IS SATIRE I PROMISE 😭
The Phili Fanatic (His friends call him Phil) moves to a new school his senior year of High School. He doesn't expect to meet anyone (especially a partner) until he meets a handsome guy almost by chance! Does he have the...
We stopped in front of a beautiful cafe with glass windows and a sign hanging on the door. "Le Café de l'eau des toilettes" 'Fancy French-Italian' I thought to myself. Schlatt opened the door for me and bowed slightly. I giggled and walked inside. The place looked straight out of a Pinterest board. Fairy lights hung from the tan walls, white chairs crowded wood tables with succulents in the middle. He sat down and patted the chair next to him. I plopped down onto the cushion as I took in the place. "Nice place..." I said amazed. Schlatt stretched and laid back in his seat. "Yeah, well, I am the best at finding these sorts of places. I have another spot near the Spencer's" I tilted my head "Spencer's?" I asked He looked at me wide eyed. "Don't go in there..." he said "it's too beautiful in there." Schlatt tucked my hair behind my ear. "Not as beautiful as you though..." My face turned a moist shade of green. "O-o-oh... t-t-thanks, S-Schluss..." He was so dreamy... Somewhere between the hottest man alive and a wet cigarette on the sidewalk ...kinda like young Jeff Goldblum
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He blinked "Shall we order, cutie?" DAMN I nodded while tucking my hair extensions behind my ear. I ordered a caramel Morttachino and Schlatt ordered a black coffee, how Batman of him 🤭 We talked for a while after that... not about anything significant. Just school and the origins of the language Scottish Gaelic. He looked at me "Did you know that the Morttachinos used to called crappachinos?" I leaned in "Really?" I said "why did they change it?" Schlatt looked at the ceiling thoughtfully "I think it's because there was some accident somewhere and they changed the name...I dunno, it's just a rumor..." "I'm not too fond of rumors..." I said sadly He cocked his head "Why's that?" I sighed and bit my lip "A-at my old school...I was the quirky weird girl that liked..." I paused "Er...pizza and video games...while the other girls were to busy doing makeup...ugh. They spread rumors that I thought Murcock Diccals, which made him think I was interested in him. He asked me out and I said yes because I felt bad because he looked like a wrinkly pickle...
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Schlatt giggles to himself at the term "wrinkly pickle" "Phili...you kinda look like a fuzzy little wrinkly pickle..." He said My jaw dropped Did he just say I looked like a wrinkly pickle??? LIKE MURCOCK??? He must of noticed I got upset and he leaned in. All of a sudden I felt his hand on my chin "I'm sorry...it's just..." he sighed "I used to be in love with a woman named Madam WrinklyPickleton III...she reminds me of you because she was the most beautiful woman I have ever met" My back moistened "Thank you..." Schlatt's hand left my chin and he stood up with his arm stretched out to me. "C'mon, let's get back to school." I blushed has I took his hand and we began to walk out of the Cafe.
![My Fanatic 💕 [Jschlatt X Phili Fanatic]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/368179419-64-k583434.jpg)