poems

Dad!!

I see it, I see the search history. 'Signs of Autism', The least you could have done was erase it, erase the history, now I know what you really think of me Dad...

I may be different and I may not have much control, but I don't think anyone even you, my own dad has ever looked past my outer bubble.

Maybe there is something wrong with me... but before you go and ask an inanimate object about someone else problems, my problems, come and talk to me. Have you ever asked? No, the real question dad have you ever cared.

Face me! I'm screaming inside and you can't see it.

Why can't you see it.

There is a part of me that just wants you to hold me.

Tell me it's going to be okay. But then I think about it and realise maybe you wouldn't mean it.

Everyone else doesn't care so why should my own father, the only parent I've had since I was three, why would my dad care.

Autism? really that's the best you can search, next time dad think a little harder, use that heart that was never used on me. I'm not autistic.

Yes, I may be sick but the thing is dad I can pop pills, but I can't push these feelings, feelings that you'll look at a screen before you look at me.

Look at me!

See me!

Please dad I need you to see me...