Smile of my heart

Fake Smile

In the blink of an eye she turned 8 and the year was 2015. She entered her classroom with her Class Teacher as she was a new student. When her class teacher told her to introduce herself she did introduce herself but it was like a silence before the storm. She didn't even realize that she is going to lose herself. "I thought making friends was an easy job but I was wrong... If friendship contains betrayals I don't want it but still I have to be there for them as I don't like taking revenge. " She said sobbing 🤧. Her two classmates whom she called her friends gave her hard time.. They used her in every ways they can. They used to copy her homework, break friendship, told her horror stories to scare her and talk bad about her. It hurts so much when you trust someone more than yourself, give all of you but still it's not enough for them, only expecting pure friendship. "I understand I am not their type of girl so they don't like me and use me. I wish I never existed😭I wish Aadi and Aditi could see what's happening with me but they're far from me... I should change myself for them then they'll like me nah??? I'll do my best to change myself to reach their type". Amsip sobbing.. She tried her best to be like them but she can't be like them and their gang members keep on increasing first 2,then 3,then 4,they became 6 who knowingly started teasing her, hurting her and using her for their own good. At that point of time she forgot herself and every night she cried but no one noticed. we can't count the pain because its an emotion, if it goes deep you aren't floating...you're drowning until someone catches you up.

" what should I do? I am the one who is always getting betrayed by them, how much I try to be like them to make them to like me, they'll never. Now it's enough I can't tolerate to be with them. Let me take a step to end this fake friendship. I'll become alone but it's ok. I have always been tolerating pain, so I can tolerate that too. Pain is something which will never leave me". ~Amsip.

She broke that unnamed friendship and she became lonely. No one to talk, no one to care, no one with whom she can share, family trouble too was there, she can only hide her pain because she never got that comfortable space. She played hard to make herself a thing to give people. Whatever she loves, she loses it but still she smiles in hope that someday she'll be happy and she know the pain so she didn't wanted anyone to suffer. 

Her parents never ever tried to understand her, they only fulfilled her necessities. An emotional exchange never happened between them. Whatever she told her mumma, it got circulated all over family members. So, there is no privacy, no one to hug, no shoulder to lean on, literally she was all over broken. "Family always stays", it's a wrong statement because her family never stayed with her, they don't actually knew her, and they'll never.