Split of the Worlds (18+)

Chapter 5.4

!!Trigger warning!!
Sexual content, including sexual abuse/ violence

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The lord of the fortress left, the door closed and she was alone again. Veidja would have liked to cover herself, but didn't feel able to. She was just relieved that everyone had gone.

Immediately she fell into a restless, barely restorative sleep. She had nightmares of red eyes, hissed promises of torture and abuse, of green skin on her body. Every time she woke up, however, she was still alone. When she felt strong enough, she pulled the remnants of her shirt over her. Her muscles and wounds ached and there was a burning between her legs.

She tried to get back to sleep as quickly as possible, but the nightmares wouldn't leave her alone. When her escort arrived, Veidja was just about able to stay on her feet, but she stumbled more than she walked. Fortunately, it wasn't far to the bathroom.

Once there, she got rid of her clothes in front of the door as usual. This time she found it harder; the hellish creatures' gazes seemed more piercing than usual. She dragged herself to the pool and slid straight into the water. Despite her pain and weakness, she washed herself several times and as thoroughly as she could. She almost enjoyed the pain of the wounds when she rinsed them extra vigorously. It seemed pure to Veidja, as if she could overlay the demonlord's touch with it. She tried to rub away all the smells and residue in order to drive out the memories.

It was only partially successful, but the routine helped a little. The angel stretched out on the warm, hard floor, stared along the stones and searched for pleasant thoughts. But they kept revolving around the heinous assault by the demon. His touch. His paralyzing powers that had kept her helpless on top of her wounds.

Physical union was anything but a taboo subject for angels. When She created the angels, She had made them different genders to give them the opportunity to learn to love both the familiar and the unfamiliar.

Often, especially before and after great battles, there were celebrations full of music and flowers, dancing and laughter. The angel warriors in particular needed a time when they could forget the atrocities of the battlefield. The festivals were an opportunity to celebrate life and love, to feel connected. Those who needed physical closeness sought out one or more partners to exchange tenderness and passion. Of course, there were also angels who were firmly bound to each other. But the battleangels in particular knew that they could lose the one they loved today at the next closure or that they themselves would move on to the next incarnation. That was why they often remained unbound, seeking intimate but possibly brief affection among themselves or with adventurous angels from other castes.

Veidja remembered back to the day before the closure, before her last participation in the Eternal Battle. Her partner at the time had also been a warrior, Weron. The dancing and partying together had not been enough for the two of them. They were used to expressing their feelings intensely through their bodies, so they had found themselves in one of the gardens.

When he had pressed her back against a tree, they had kissed intimately. His hand on her breast, she nibbling at his belt. Fingers wandered over her body, always gentle. She had been more exploratory, he had enjoyed being explored. Only after they had pleasured each other extensively with their hands had they sunk into the grass. They made love several times, were lost in conversation in between, then back into each other again. He was a quiet but experienced lover. He'd also fought in her last battle. She did not know whether he had emerged victorious.

All the angels who had entered into such a partnership with her had been careful to give her what she needed. And Veidja had done the same for each of them. The participants had always been full of devotion. It was about equal give and take, about feeling accepted and valued. Experiencing beauty when every battle brought new horrors.