Can't Help Myself

Wedding

Chris is eighteen. This meant he could be our second witness besides Davie, Ethan's friend from the military, who I had met when I ran into Ethan while skiing. Roman and Graham wore jeans and white button-up shirts with blue suspenders, so did Chris. Davie and Chris wore their military uniforms. Davie was still active in the army and Ethan was in the reserves. And man did he look good in uniform, better than his picture on the wall in the hallway back home. When I cam out of the bridle room and saw the boys, along with the man ministering the wedding, waiting for me at the end of the isle at the alter, my knees grew weak.

I sat in the bridal room now, waiting to go out and marry Ethan. I was really going to marry Ethan. The man of my dreams. I didn't even realize he was the man of my dreams until I fell in love with him. When was it that made me fall in love? It was probably gradual. I also fell in love with his sons. they were everything I wanted and needed right now. I was finally going to be leaving a big, lonely house for a small and loving home.

"It's time." Sadie, Chris's girlfriend, said to me with a big smile on her face. I breathed in and breathed out a long and strong breath. I stood up from where I was sitting and thinking and took one last look at myself in the mirror. I wore a plain and simple white gown that the GSR sold for these occasions. Ethan bought a simple diamond necklace with a diamond in the middle and little pearls on each side of it in representation of our family. I hoped that in the future, we could add more pearls to it. The gown reached my feet, which wore only inch-high heals, and was all silk. It hugged my curves and covered my shoulders slightly. The neckline was modest as well but had a nice lace design of flowers that made the plain dress pop if only a little. To be honest, it was very out of date, but I didn't care about the dress. It was just a rental.

"How are you feeling?" I asked Sadie. "You look pale."

The young, high-school girl waved off my concern and said, "I threw up a couple of minutes ago, I'm good." She clutched her stomach over the blue dress she wore that went to her knees and covered her shoulders. I told her to wear blue to match the suspenders and she just so happened to own one. I wasn't planning on having another female at the wedding but Chris thought it would be nice to have her and I get to know each other since ... well, she was pregnant with his kid.

Over the last week or so since Chris told Ethan and I after our disastrous family dinner that he got a girl pregnant, I contemplated on who mom and dad would be mad at more. Me, for marrying an older man with kids, or Chris, who knocked up a teenage girl. Sadie was seventeen, and Chris couldn't wait for her to be eighteen in the next few months so that it didn't feel awkward that he was now an adult and her still under-age. Her parents knew and didn't have a problem with them dating and having a kid, but my parents didn't know and I knew for a fact that they would disown their son before welcoming Sadie into the family.

But tonight was about me, and Sadie wanted it that way. Even though her morning sickness and queasiness hadn't gone away just yet at 9 weeks of being pregnant, she was still here to hold a bouquet of flowers and walk in front of me as we both walked down the isle.

My knees buckled for a second and I watched her walk ahead of me as all I could do was stare at the men in front of me, mostly Ethan. He had such a calm and reassuring smile on his handsome face, and to think I wanted to be with Zac! I didn't know what that boy was up to but I was happy that he had abandoned me after kicking me out of his apartment that day, because I got to be with Ethan that night and I got to connect with him in a way I never did with my ex.

My knees gained their purpose and I moved forward as music played from a source I couldn't identify in the moment but was definitely a recording from a speaker.

Once the ceremony was over and I slid a silver ring onto Ethan's hand and he slid a band onto mine, adding to the engagement ring, we both kissed and everyone cheered. the boys jumped up and down and ran to us. I crushed them into bear hugs as Ethan crushed me in his arms. It was a hugging fest until Roman said he was hungry.

We went to a buffet in the casino and then it was finally time to say goodnight to the boys, who would be staying at the house with Chris and Sadie, and Ethan and I would finally be alone together at the casino's hotel.

Ethan was very calm, a little too calm. He didn't seem excited or nervous or really flirty to get to the suite. I was beyond nervous and very much excited! Sadie told me what she could without me getting too grossed out that she was always referring to her only experience being with my brother. I didn't like my little brother, who was still a teenager, being my model.

We said our goodbyes to the boys and my brother outside and then slipped back into the lights and music of the gambling building hand in hand. Ethan then led us to the elevator which carried other passengers.

Butterflies danced in my belly and I wondered if I ate too much or drank too much or didn't eat enough or drink enough. My heart was pounding as I thought of what was going to happen. We've snuggled before so what's the difference? I've seen Ethan without a shirt on and in his boxers. I've seen him get excited. He's been flirtatious before. I know he will be when we get to the room. I told myself.

My hand was squeezed and I looked at my new husband. Husband.

"Nervous?" Ethan smirked. I nodded like a little kid. He chuckled. "You're adorable right now." I scrunched up my nose. "What?" He asked with concern.

"I'm your wife now, I want to hear you say on our wedding day, 'you look beautiful,' or 'you look gorgeous.' You saying adorable makes me feel like a little kid."

"You are a kid." He chuckled.

"Nope. Not anymore. I have two sons and a husband to take care of now." I smiled at him as I patted his uniform. He shook his head.

"I'm the one who's older. I feel more self-conscious than you." I rolled my eyes. He leaned down to my ear and whispered, "and I'm the more experienced one tonight, remember that." I gulped and my insides began to feel warm.

We finally made it to our floor and we squeezed past the other guests. We walked fairly fast to our room as Ethan was practically tugging me along.

He swung our hotel door open and immediately closed it once he pulled me inside. I went to take my wedding dress off but he had me stop. "Let's slow down, it's more enjoyable that way." He smiled softly. I did as he said and he approached me slowly. He caressed my cheek and then leaned in and kissed my neck. I craned my neck to the side to give him more room. I placed my hands on his chest and grasped the feeling of his pecks moving up and down with each breath he took.

"I love you, Annie."

"I love you, Ethan."