UNO Cards

V I V A A N

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The first day of school always sucks.

I mean, every day of school sucks, to be honest. But the first day has this extra repellent force to it, one that hits me in the face like a drugged cloth and makes me wish for nothing more but to collapse into a dark void underground.

Again, I wish to collapse into a dark void underground pretty much everyday. I just wish for it more on the first day of school.

For a moment, I actually consider not going. I lay there in my bed, my arms spread out over my crumpled sheets, trying way too hard to craft up excuses and devise plans. My dad isn't easily fooled, and he's probably going to see through any facade I put up. Plus, I barely talk to him. I barely talk to anyone. It takes up too much of my energy, energy that's barely mine in the first place.

Then again, the thought of metallic cherry-red lockers, melty school air, loud hallway chatter, and tables full of jocks I hate associating myself with (well, except for Rohan) makes me want to throw up last night's dinner all over my room. I know that skipping the first day would just mean that the second day becomes the first day, but I really can't put up with going right now.

I think of Dad. He leaves for office in half an hour, anyway, and I have a clean record at school. I could just pretend to go to school and then ditch; I have the house keys. Sure, it would mean getting up, out of bed, dressing, going downstairs, and having basic interactions, which honestly sounds dreadful, but it's better than an entire day of even more meaningless interactions.

The plan paves a little path in my head, and before I can weigh the pros and cons, something in my mind instantly agrees to it. I can't hear the little voices that are supposed to tell me that I've never ditched before or to think about my only two friends and where I'll go or warn me about what would happen if my dad caught me, so as I heave myself upwards, dragging myself off my bed, I decide that's exactly what I'm going to do; fake going to school, and then ditch.

Yet just as I'm about to stand up, my phone pings, and when I flip it over, it's a message from Sara, which for some reason feels shocking at the moment, when I've just been thinking about ditching school, yet doesn't surprise me one bit.

Sara, Now

Hey! Just making sure you're alive for the first day of school.

Instantly, guilt washes over me. This is so Sara.

Why is she making sure I'm alive for the first day of school?

I answer my own question immediately: well, because she's Sara, of course.

Sara, Now

You're a senior now, dude. No more SATs or SAT Prep or PSATs or anything with SAT in it.

I'm not the nicest person, and I'm nowhere near as nice as Sara, who reminds me of a literal ray of sunshine, if we forget the fact that I've never been too fond of the sun. Still, despite the fact that I am pretty cold, I admit, I feel really guilty that she's checking up on me when I'm thinking about ditching the first day of school, so there's no way I'm going to leave Sara on read, even if my fingers are aching and don't want to text in the early morning.

Me, Now

we have college apps

There's a pause on the other end, and I know Sara's really surprised, both at the fact that I replied with such interest and the fact that I replied immediately. Usually, it takes me, well, a long time. And I am guilty of leaving her on read before...just a few times, though.

But still.

Sara, Now

So what? Northeastern University, here you come!

For a millisecond, I'm surprised that Sara remembers I want to go to Northeastern. I may have mentioned it in like, freshman year. But then the surprise fades, because of course she remembers. She's Sara.

Me, Now

how tf do u even rmbr that

I don't love the way I sound when I text her that, but I don't love the way I sound in general, and I know she's used to it. She knows I'm not trying to be rude, and she won't be offended. I like that about her, although I feel guilty for not being nicer and for putting such less energy into my texts. To be fair, though, Sara's the only person I know besides Dad who texts in full sentences, with proper punctuation.

But then again, Sara is the only person I know besides Dad and Rohan.

Sara, Now

Shut up. You wish you had my memory.

Now get your ass out of bed dude!!! You're going to be late.

I shake my head at the fact that she literally knows I'm still in bed, glancing over at the window. I can't see the house next to mine from there, but Sara lives right next to me, and I can almost feel her gazing back at my house. Then I reread her message and sigh, guilt washing over me all over again.

I guess we're not ditching school anymore.