Without Holding Back

Chapter Three

We march across campus searching for the boy Jess met earlier, even though she has zero clue where we're going. All she remembers is that his name is Max and she's almost positive his fraternity is Sigma Chi. None of us really mind getting lost, though. The anticipation is the best part anyway.

The heat is still in the high 80s, but without the sun beating down on us, it's not all that unpleasant. The palm trees swaying gently above us and the lizards darting beneath our feet remind me that we're far from home, far from the familiar.

When we finally locate the house, we pause in front of the imposing brick structure. Greek letters are plastered across the front of the house and loud music bursts out of the open windows.

I take a few deep breaths and feel Daisy do the same beside me.

Even Jess seems a tiny bit nervous and out of her element, but she forges onward, opening up the gate separating the house from the street, and we follow her into the front yard. There's a smattering of people congregating on the wide lawn, mostly boys who presumably live here. The massive front doors swing open, and a handful of people tumble out, led by two guys hoisting a keg on their shoulders.

"A/C is out again," one says to us, catching my eye. "We're moving everything outside. Not that it's much cooler out here."

The boys drop the keg, and the one that spoke to me breaks loose from the group and approaches us.

"You guys freshman?" His dark hair is tucked into a backward University of Florida hat.

"We're incoming freshman," Jess lies.

"Well then, welcome," he says. "I'm Finn."

"Hi Finn," she says easily, so easily that I wonder if I should be taking notes.

Finn takes his hat off and runs his hand through his hair, exposing a sliver of his firm stomach. I hear Daisy's breath hitch. Finn glances at me, as if to see if I noticed too, but I look away quickly.

"We're actually looking for Max," Jess says.

"Of course you are," Finn says with a smirk. "He's inside somewhere, but I'm sure he'll be out in a bit. Make yourselves at home." His eyes flicker over me one more time before he turns and walks away.

Daisy lets out a breath. "Is it just me, or are the boys here like a hundred times hotter than at home? I mean, that guy looked like a '90s Abercrombie model or something."

"College boys," Jess says knowingly. "Liv, he was totally checking you out."

I wrinkle my nose. "I doubt it." But actually, I'm pretty sure she's right. Whatever that was, there was definitely something flickering between the two of us, and I'm certainly not used to flickers.

Daisy's excitement is palpable. "Livvie, this could be it for you! So romantic, right?"

Jess snorts. "I wouldn't call a frat party romantic, but you should totally go for him."

I hold up my hand to stop her. "Hold that thought. I will do nothing of the sort."

I don't "go" for anyone. I wait for things to come to me, which is why nothing ever happens.

"Why not?" Jess asks, sounding perturbed. "I mean, what's the worst that can happen?"

"I could die of humiliation," I say.

"You're definitely not going to die." Jess scans the yard, which is quickly filling up with partygoers. "But you do need practice. Here's what we're going to do. I have a challenge. A cute little game."