Without Holding Back

Chapter Four

 I almost drop my cup.

"I must have had a lot to drink, because that guy looks just like Andy Ellis," Daisy says. "Weird."

"That is Andy!" Jess exclaims. "I completely forgot he was coming here this week."

There's a pretty strong NSHS-to-University of Florida pipeline, especially given how strong the athletics are at our school, but seeing someone from our high school at the same frat party we're at is a coincidence that I can't quite wrap my fuzzy brain around.

"Why is he here right now?" I ask.

"He had some football recruiting thing," Jess says with a wave of her hand. "His brothers both go here and stuff. It's, like, a family dynasty or whatever."

"So it's basically destiny," Daisy says matter-of-factly. "That's what I'm hearing you say. It's destiny."

"Correct," Jess says as she takes the beer from my hands. "Go get 'em, Liv."

"Absolutely not. Hard pass. No way." I shake my head vigorously as I grab my drink back from Jess. "Abort mission."

There's no way I'm going through with this now. Because here's what I know about Andy Ellis: he's basically perfect.

Much like Jess, he's in an entirely different social orbit than I am, our planets never aligning, not even coming close.

Andy plays lacrosse and football, and has been the rising star of both teams for the past two years. Everyone at NSHS is pumped because this year the football team is supposed to go "all the way," as they say. The lacrosse team has already proven itself time and time again, but football is an even bigger deal in our small Midwestern town, where the varsity team is pretty much royalty.

I stare at him from afar. Andy's face is a prime example of perfect symmetry, so striking that one of his Instagram pictures went viral and gained over 500,000 likes in just a few days. The same photo was then circulated on Pinterest under every "cute guy blue eyes" hashtag and from then on, he became known as "the Pinterest boy." He set his account to private after all the attention. I think about it sometimes, though. It was a simple photo; just Andy sitting outside, squinting a little in the light, the sunlight glinting off his hair and skin giving everything a dewy glow. His arms were crossed in front of him, and he wasn't quite smiling, but he still looked happy. I think about what it must be like to be that undeniably beautiful, to be able to post a picture and have thousands of strangers fawn over you. I don't know if he let it get to his head, because I, like the strangers admiring his photo, know nothing about him except what I've observed from a distance for the last three years.

I know that he's almost always smiling.

I know that he flirts with everyone, not just the pretty girls. I've seen him work his charm on the substitute math teacher, the shy transfer student, the lunch lady.

I know that, even though he flirts with everyone, chances are slim to none that he would actually go for someone like me.

I watch Andy stride confidently into the yard, followed closely by Griffin Porter, who's the quarterback of the football team and his closest friend, the Daisy to his Olivia. The two of them couldn't be more opposite. Griffin is quiet and aloof and a little smoldering, for lack of a better word. Daisy and I have spent many nights trying to crack the code of Griffin Porter, and we haven't even come close.

Jess's eyes are dancing. "Listen, I know he's kind of a fuckboy, but the deep dark truth about Andy is that he's really sweet. He doesn't do the whole relationship thing, so we know he's single. This is beyond perfect." She pauses. "Like Daisy said, it's destiny."