Daniel's Diary

Chapter 1: The Abandoned Child

"I was left alone a long time ago"...

This phrase envelops my mind, taking me back to those days when everything changed. I remember that boy who mingled with everyone, who accepted everyone, who sought friends and longed to feel love for the first time. That boy wanted someone to trust him, or at least believed someone would. But reality collapsed on him like a ruined theater.

That boy awaited the congratulations of the teacher he so admired and respected, but they never came. Instead, the other teachers, those he also appreciated, turned their backs on him. They already had someone prepared for their event, someone who wasn't him. He fought eagerly, but so many things happening at once broke him down. He saw the theater collapse, the true faces of people, and understood new feelings. Finally, he was abandoned in the battle by his mother, who, feeling offended, only thought of herself.

For a 10-year-old boy, tired of so many faces, so many "deals," so many hypocrites, that situation was traumatic. Until he was asked the question that changed everything: "Where is your mom? Did she sign?" At that moment, the boy forged and mastered the ability to repress his feelings, a skill he had unconsciously applied years earlier with the death of his grandfather, the only person who truly believed in him.

The boy repressed his urge to cry out of the hatred he felt knowing his mother wasn't there. He thought: "She ran away like she always does. She left me alone. Why always thinking about herself? Why didn't she just sign and take me with her? Why me? Why did I have to take this stupid exam?" From that day, the boy lost the desire to study for his exams. From that day, the diligent and studious boy died, and a different boy emerged.

He decided to be himself, to find a purpose in life, but his need for love and protection grew. The void deepened as he witnessed so many betrayals and his own mother's abandonment at a crucial moment. With his pride shattered, the boy became shy, irresponsible, cold, calculating, and manipulative.

From that day, the boy stayed alone because he chose to shut himself off from the world. He decided that he would determine what was good and bad for him, forging his own path of solitude. He accepted people into his life but knew that no matter how close they were, one day they would betray him. Yes, the boy was insecure about himself and others, the boy who no longer participated, merely complied.

The boy whom no one trusted, who everyone abandoned, who everyone let fall, who was never chosen first. That boy decided that people were crap, but at the same time, that emptiness made him doubt himself. He wondered: "Why can't I be happy?" Seeing how others had opportunities and didn't take them, seeing others receive love while he did not, he thought: "Why can they and not me?"

With his doubts, he decided to escape reality, alone, to his own world. A world where only he could control what happened and no one could hurt him. Since that day, I've been alone.