Your Teenage Advice Guide

Keep Your Enemies Close?

Chapter 1
'Kept your enemies close' does it this actually work?
No, but when it comes to frenemies it does. First of all, what is a frenemy? Well my definition is; a girl or boy what you have some relationship with, not romantic, but for friendship or sanity reasons you are friends with them, despite a fundamental dislike or rivalry.

I'll put this in an example, we all have, or had a 'friend' that we knew, for some well or for other a level just after your acquaintance with them. We may have a small grudge, to out right hating them, but for reasons we are still friends with them.

For me I thought had a frenemy in primary school, though there is a point when someone crosses being a frenemy. For this case we'll call her Rachel. Anyway from year 4 Rachel and I had problems. At the time it felt like major issues, but it wasn't. Rachel began inviting everyone but me to play in her group. She would trip me, and make fun of me, and target things that I was insecure about. All while playing an innocent card. Should would apologise, and beg to not tell the teacher, which I did, because she would promise me the world and I believed her. Then things got worse. I tried telling teacher, but Rachel would just fake cry and get her friends to make be be the baddie. After all who would believe the loud quirky girl that was always out of place, when there was a smaller louder and innocent Rachel.
On camp I was completely alone, Rachel was put in my cabin with all her friends. During this rumours were spread, and everyone kept away like I had the plague. I had my first anxiety attack there. It was a terrible 4 days, that I will never forgot, 5 years on.
At the end of year 4 I snapped, I completely lost it. Rachel just pushed me over the edge. She insulted the one thing I cared about the most, my family. Rachel made a harsh comment about my autistic brother. I bottled up my emotions for far to long, and it just over filled. I stared screaming in the playground, both at her and just in general, sobbing with my knees pulled in to my chest. Teachers came and tried to console with me. My mum was called and I was put into counselling. Teachers were told about what had happened, my now best friend spoke up of what happened. But I was told I had anger management issues.
Over year 5, I was thankfully not in Rachel's class, but while in counselling I was told I had anxiety issues. This limited me going on sleepovers, and I missed my grade 5 camp. I was afraid of having friends over, scared that they to would make fun of my brother.
I was not till grade 6 I met my best friends. Rachel was in my class, but as it was my last year at primary school, I was the bigger person and let it go. Just ignoring her helped. You probably hear that a lot, but it is the best thing you can do. I focused all my energy on doing better and enjoying myself, then worrying what she thought of me. We did had small arguments, but for once I had a teacher that saw through her facade.

More all your energy on making yourself into a better person, through either studying, wellbeing, fitness or even your personality. We must learn how to led go on what's being said and learn what we really what in life. Rachel was a queen bee of such. She was manipulating, even as a 11 year old. These people are not frenemies, they are toxins, cancers of such. They fed of everything, from your happiness to insecurities, in till there is nothing left but a shell. You do not need this, at all. You deserve supportive and loving people around you. You are beautiful in your own way, don't let anyone make you think differently. Just remove these people from your life, it will be hard but man, you will be better off.

Now in year 9, and having a small group of friends, I can safely say I have a frenemy. Let's call her Emily.
Emily and I always had issues, but we're never friends, but still talked. At first it nagging arguments, but it passed a line of mutual competition. After Emily crossed the line far to many times, I did what I needed to and cut her out of my life. Emily tipped a box of buttons down my shirt a grabbed my breast, it was not a slight brush, but she did this for a while, while looking me in my eyes. I had never felt so violated. The weeks before, Emily called me a plus sized model, and drew pictures of me all of my books, and if she didn't sit near me, would through these pictures at me. The button incident was the final straw.
My friend who we will call Sarah did the same, and cut Emily from her life. Sarah was best friends with Emily, but noticed the change in her personality too. Sarah and I became best friends, much to Emily's dismay. Emily continued to do childish jokes and frankly stupid things to get the attention of how she was better then me, most just proving how arrogant and self centred she was. After the issues of year 8 ( I will talk about this in a later chapter) Emily and Sarah are now best friends, and as I am friends with both Sarah and Quinn, my best friend and Emily's forma best friends from primary school. I am now stuck with her.
Emily is what we call a frenemy, though we have stupid competitions and fight like sisters, thats just how our relationship is. This can be mistaken for just friend competitiveness but, we feel the need to prove each other other wrong and to be the best at everything. As stupid as this may seem, we are both mutual with each others feelings, we know where we stand. I don't trust her, but for the sake of the group we are still 'friends'

The key of having a is respect and mutualism, and to know where you stand with them. Don't be friends with someone who doesn't respect you to makes you feel any less of your amazing self, or forces you to do anything you wouldn't do on your own. Some times ther is a line that someone crooses from being a frenemy, to just being a plain enemy. These people you must keep away from. All they bring is trouble, and harm you. This isn't always done physically, most of the time it is physiology done, things sometimes brings worst effects. Those who target you are always insecure of something, they target you to either hid the pain or insecurities, knowingly or physiological.
Rember this, they target you as you hold something that they do not poses. Wither it's confidence, self worth, family, friends, talents, intelligence, or qualities, you have something they don't. You are all beautiful minded people, you all deserve the best supportive people around you. Remember to keep your self respect and beliefs true.

Well, how was that?
I hoped you enjoyed it! Writing this was quite amazing, reflecting on what has in my life.
This is one of many chapters of advice. I am always here for a chat, but a trusted adult or friend is there to support you.

- Brooke x