1 Billion Children Home Design Fanfiction

10

(Sorry to the one person who read the Shrek chapter, it really was a waste of time)
A little violent
I came to the realization when I was eating donuts on my lunch break, I needed to slaughter my children like pigs. So I went over to my car to retrieve the rifle from my trunk. It shined like it was waiting for me to grab it. When I retrieved it, then I sprinted into the town. It was depending on me. They shook their shriveled bodies everywhere, and I began to shoot them right in the chest. The blood spread all over the ground quicker than the smoke did. They choked, which made me laugh.

One by one, they were gone. It wasn't long before I came to the conclusion that I couldn't kill 1 billion kids. I had to find a way to stop them from their evil actions. But tbh I didn't know how. Depressed and confused, I walked around town. That's when I stumbled into a nice man who looked just like me. Holy crap it was my long lost brother. Ok not long lost, but I hadn't seen him in years.
"Yo yo yo!" He exclaimed.
"Wassup." I greeted him.
"What's in the air my lil shnizzle." He said, "Remember me, Liam?"
"Yup."
"The world's going pretty wild right now."
"Yeah my guy."
"Yo, I know a guy who knows a guy. His name is Gerald Wilson." He came in and whispered in my ear, "He may or may not know the president."
Gasp.
"What?" I shrieked. Then I whispered again, "How does he know the president?"
Liam sighed, "They had did some stuff with each other in college, but Gerald prefers not to talk about it. Anyway, lemme call him. Maybe he'll phone up Mista Joe and he can blow a middle in some of these cultists."
"K" I happily responded.

We embraced right then and there.
"Me and Alice are getting a divorce." I told him as    we turned around, unraveling ourselves from eachother.
His eyes widened, "Omg why?"
"Because shes all upset  that I found out shes making the kids worship an evil statue."
"Dam bro thats crazy. Anyway lemne call Gerald. He snatched his gorgeous mesmerizing i iPhone from his pocket dialed up Gerald. He said he said "Yo Ger, call Jo fo me. We git tons of kids who emitted a thick smoke which brainwashed pdestrians and made them worship a demon. So get him to come here rn. Bye."

An hour passed and thats when I remembered it was the kids birthday. I was such a deadbeat.
"ITS THE KIDS BIRTHDAY THE DEMOM LORD IS COMING!" the individuals on the street chanted.
A noise was heard from above us. At first I thought it was the demon, but it was Joe riding in a helicopter. He jumped off and fell on his feet right infront of me and Liam.
"Wassup." I said.
"Why am I here again?" he asked, "Oh gee whiz, its cause of the evil kid thing isnt it?"

We nodded.
"Wait," I chimed, "What if I look in that book and see if theres a way to reverse the spell."
A look of glee spread across all three of our faces.
I galloped my way back to the home. It was set aflame, but I dont know why. I stepped inside. Everything was gone except for the book. It was sitting on tge floor right infront of me. I dusted it off and flipped through. Finally, I found the page which said "Reverse"

To reverse any spell or ritual, a building must be  built with galvanized square steel, eco friendly wood veneers, and expansion screws. Candles must be lit around the building and an eaglle must be infront of tge door. However, the building must reach the exosphere in order for the reverse to work. Then, one must kneel infront of the door and chant 'Break the curse release the spirit' 69 times. Only then will the spelk be broken. Little John, I see you.

Gasp.