WITH THE ALPHA

Part 4 ; The Pain

A tight, brittle smile etched onto my lips as I stared wide-eyed at the stranger who had just called me his mate.
"Ah, thanks. I gotta go," I faked a nervous laugh, pivoting instantly to bolt.
"Wait—what's your name?" He surged forward, grabbing my wrist.
The moment his skin brushed mine, a sudden, electric tingle danced across my nerves. The sheer bliss of the bond threatened to pull me under, coaxing me to surrender, but I snapped back to reality. Pushing his hand away with a low, lethal growl, I watched his jaw drop in absolute shock before turning on my heel and clicking furiously toward the exit.
Behind me, he turned back to the stunned cashier. "Well, that was quite something," he muttered, letting out a breathless laugh as he noticed the printed receipt I'd left on the counter. "She bought a pregnancy kit," he whispered, sliding the paper into his pocket.
I slammed my car door shut, twisted the ignition, and slammed my foot on the gas. The Jeep roared to life, tires screeching as I tore out of the parking lot. Tossing my hat onto the passenger seat, I sped frantically toward the pack house.
"You have got to be kidding me!" I yelled at the empty air. "My mate? Now?"
I slammed on the brakes at a stop sign, letting oncoming traffic pass. Overwhelmed, I hammered my head repeatedly against the steering wheel, sending bursts of loud honks echoing down the street.
Half an hour later, I was pacing my bathroom floor. The small plastic stick lay in a cup on the counter, the five-minute timer ticking down. When the alarm finally buzzed, my breath hitched. I reached out with a trembling hand, holding the instructions in one palm and the test in the other.
One line for negative. Two lines for positive.
I stared down at the window. Two dark, bold stripes stared back.
My knees gave out. I hit the floor, letting out a hollow, hysterical laugh as warm tears streaked down my face. Desperate for a mistake, I ripped open the second test and repeated the process.
Two lines. Again.
"No," I whispered, shaking my head.
Abortion was strictly forbidden in the supernatural community—viewed as a grave sin against nature, regardless of a woman's right to her own body. A dark, suffocating despair began to wrap around my chest. I hadn't planned for this. I didn't want a child, and above all, I terrified myself with the thought of repeating my mother's tragic fate. She had been ruined by love—weak, broken, and ultimately self-destructive.
I was already damaged and completely alone. Damian and Derick were powerful males bound by instinct. If a wolf didn't recognize a pup as his mate's offspring, the danger was real—they might reject or even kill the child to purge the bloodline. I couldn't guarantee this baby's survival.
And then my mind drifted to the stranger at the store. My true mate.
He would never accept another male's child, especially born from a dynamic like this. Would it be better for Damian, Derick, or my mate to end it? That was the brutal reality of our nature. We wore human clothes, but beneath the surface, we were feral beasts ruled by primal laws. Besides, a male like him would never want someone like me anyway. I was devious. I lied, I manipulated, I sinned, and I killed. I was far too tainted for a destiny as pure as a mate bond.
The spiral pulled me deeper into darkness. By chance, my tear-stained eyes caught the unopened second parcel sitting on my counter. I dragged myself over and tore the packaging open. I already knew what it was, and right now, it felt like my only salvation.
Inside was a tiny plastic bag filled with white powder and a short note: Only got cocaine this time.
Crushing the note, I tossed it in the bin and tapped a heavy dose of the powder onto the flat glass of my dresser. Using my credit card, I chopped it into neat lines and snorted the entire hit in one sharp breath. A burning sting flared in my nose, triggering a sudden urge to sneeze, but I didn't stop. I tapped out the rest and snorted that too.
Minutes later, I was on my knees, my head lolling forward as my curls masked my face. My eyelids grew heavy, yet a wild, artificial surge of electricity coursed through my veins. Staggering to my feet, I collapsed backward onto the mattress.
Suddenly, the suffocating weight of my reality dissolved. The fears, the baby, the Alphas, the mate—it all felt light as a feather. A manic joy bubbled up in my chest. I wanted to laugh, to run, to let everyone see how utterly carefree I was.
Jolting up, I shoved my feet into my slippers. "Let's go visit my dear friends," I giggled, sweeping my hair back.
I floated down the corridors until I reached the bustling pack lounge. Groups of wolves were gathered around, talking and playing games.
"Hey, guys," I called out breezily, sliding into an open spot on the plush couch.
"Hey, Dev. How are—" Cassandra started, but her voice trailed off. She locked eyes on me, her expression turning gravely concerned. "Are you okay?"
I nodded, my eyelids drooping heavy as lead the moment I sat down.
"Dev... your nose is bleeding," someone said from across the table, but opening my eyes to answer felt like too much effort. The euphoria felt too good. I just wanted to hold onto it forever.
"Hey, Dev? Are you okay? You're kinda... Dev!"