" Go Kill Your Self "

running away. (not)

right when i got discharged from the hospital, i checked my phone. "328 new messages" it read. and each one. no matter which one, it was always from Dan. one of them said "WHERE ARE U??" and followed by the others "DID U FIND OUT? IS THAT WHY UR NOT COMMING HOME?" and others. i had to get home fast, i knew the moment Dan saw me, he would kill me. he was keeping his promise. not his lovely boys, girls. he hated them. no matter how much writing and texting he kept threatening me, And if i go to the police, he will tell them. EVERYTHING.

I had to act fast, right when i got home i packed my bags and left, i broke the pictures of me and Dan and basically wrecked the place, plates smashed and lipstick on the wall writing "POISINER" and "KILLER". i dont have a driving licence so i took the bus to America, far away from Germany. my girls will grow up here and never know their father. not even think about him. THATS FINAL.

I blocked him on everything, including Facebook so he couldn't reach us. but who said he couldn't make fake accounts? apon thousands of accounts with numbers in their and am scrambled up letters with a blank pfp always made death comments. and i always knew who it was. i had to make a new account so that he didnt find me. i even changed my real name. from jasmine to Simone Kaulitz. i still kept his last name. i dont know why, i just did and now we live in a apartment complex which is good for its price, i lived of government money, but it still wasn't enough.

I made friends, but i couldn't drink. i couldn't hurt the baby more. either way the nurse was going to take them away though its not even my own fault. it was that cunts fault, an uppercut would be nice but i cant deal with that, even after all these months.

One day, i felt a sharp pain in  my lower stomach. i threw up on the couch leaving a big yellow-green stain  that made me throw up even more, u kept gagging for at least 10 minutes but then i couldn't help the pain, it felt like kidney stones, and kidney stones hurt more then getting runover. enough bickering. i was on the bus and soon enough i got to the hospital, i knew that it would be a different nurse but i kinda had a gut feeling she would take them away. luckily it was a different one and by the time we left Dans, the poising left without a trace, it felt better knowing u can hold ur cute little twins. I pushed and pushed until i heard a baby cry after another. they were born. i ant list a day where i felt such pride, i was so happy i could cry but something was off. this wasn't a girl. these were..

BOYS?

My heart froze, i bought all these clothes for nothing? all the baby showers? well am not disappointed but still. it was the happiest, i even began laughing when i saw them. (the nurses thought i was mad) and Dan wanted to kill me too, with the boys, thank god we were out of that house, i dont even care if he didnt kill us.

when i got discharged out of a hospital in a wheal chair, i noticed something wrong.

"WHERE IS SIMONE?"

"WHERE DID THAT GIRL THAT JUST GAVE BIRTH GO?"

i started to panic but then i saw someone outside.

The nurse from America that wanted to take my kids away.