Eclipse

Chapter 15

★Rya★

I laid in bed, my eyes fluttering open and closed as I stared at the ceiling above me. All I could think about was my mother. My dream from earlier. Not a dream, but a memory. It was all my fault. I'm the reason she is dead.

I squeezed my eyes shut, tears sliding down my cheek. I wiped them away. I couldn't control it. A part of me deep down tries to convince myself that it wasn't my fault. But my own mind is battling itself. It's like a war in my own head.

I can't help but side with the negative thoughts. All of it adds up. If only I went out that day. If only I never told him. She would still be alive right now. My mother wouldn't be dead. No. No, stop telling yourself that! It wasn't your fault. But it is. It is my fault, and it always will be. There's nothing that can change that fact.

I can't. I can't do this. The memories won't stop coming. I can't handle it. STOP! STOP! STOP!

I stared at the boy in front of me. A hand outstretched toward me, offering to help me up. The cloth tickled my face. I could feel my cheeks heat up, though they were still covered. I pushed myself up with the heel of my palm. I used my other hand to grab the boy's hand in front of me. A warm smile greeted me, threatening to attack my heart.

I was lifted to my feet effortlessly. I smiled at the boy. "Thank you." I bowed gracefully with respect due to the uniform he wore. I knew it was dangerous being around him, but I never meant to.

The boy smiled back at me. "You're welcome. Be careful next time." He turned and waved as he walked away, three other boys greeting him. One of which had blonde hair tied into a tight ponytail. The boy that had helped me up glanced back at me a few times before turning the corner and leaving.

I fixed my gown, mask, and hood before continuing on my way. I made my way to a stand with bread and happily bought a loaf. The woman, Marel, was always sweet to me. But today, she could tell that I was different. "What's got you in a cheery mood?"

I shook my head. "It's nothing. I just..." My voice drifted off. I was only 16. I shouldn't be thinking about such trivial things at a time like this.

Marel smiled at me. "Is it a boy? What does he look like?"

My eyes widened and I shook my head, putting my hands up in defense. "Oh no, it's nothing like that! I don't have a crush or anything. I just had a nice interaction with someone."

Marel nodded. "Okay, then. Whatever you say." She waved to me as I stepped away, allowing another customer to be greeted. "Have a fine day."

I waved back at her as I turned. "You too, Marel. Bye!"

That's how it started. It was a small little crush. Nothing more. So, why did it end up how it did?

I sat up in my bed, taking a deep, heavy breath as I did. Tears still pricked at my eyes, threatening to fall. I stood up, leaving my bed behind. I didn't bother dressing or putting shoes on. I left my room, closing the door behind me. I walked through the small cabin before stepping out the front door. The cold air nipped at my skin. I never looked at a clock, so I had no idea what time it was at the moment. I walked to a cut tree trunk and sat on it, ignoring the leaves and sticks poking into my bare feet.

I looked up at the sky, wishing with everything I had that I could look up at the sun with my mother right now. That everything could go to how it was when I was a baby. Before Aruna had been born. But I felt horrible thinking about that. I would never say something like that to Aruna. I love her, I really do. I would never upset her intentionally. But I do really want to see the sun again, no matter how much I hide that fact from my sweet sister.

The cold air snapped at my wet cheeks like merciless snakes. I continued to stare at the sky. Oh, how I wish I had the power to counteract the eclipse. To end it without hurting my baby sister.

A sound knocked me out of my daze. A broken branch. I looked to my right, seeing Aruna next to her broken window. I couldn't be mad. Instead, the two of us locked eyes. I motioned for her to join me, and so she did. She sat next to me, silent. An unspoken apology for disobeying me hung in the air, unanswered. But I wasn't mad. I could never be a mother to her. That's not what I was made for. No matter how hard I try.

Another tear slipped down my cheek. Aruna didn't mention it, despite seeing it. I looked at the forest in front of me. "You were with Massimo. Weren't you?" My voice sounded dead, and I knew it.

Aruna only nodded. A silent confirmation. I didn't need another answer from her. "Did you go into the kingdom?"

She shook her head. I felt more relief than I had expected. She didn't completely disobey me. I didn't say anything else. But after a few minutes of silence, Aruna finally spoke. "We only walked in the forest. We talked about his recent escapade. He was caught, but a royal guard let him go. He told me a bit about his past and..." She paused, reached down for her pocket. "He gave me something. To help with my disguise. If I go back to the kingdom at night, I can change the color of my eyes. They won't be able to identify me as easily."

I looked at my little sister at my side and smiled at her. "I'm proud of you." I didn't even realize I said it until a few seconds after the fact.

Aruna only looked up at me with wide, curious eyes. It reminded me of when she was younger. I continued. "You have grown up so much. I only want you to be happy, Aruna." I paused. "I think I'll support you. But I want to meet him."

Aruna perked up, straightening her posture. "You want to meet Massimo?"

I nodded. "Yes. I want to know who you are spending your time around. And if I can trust him."

Aruna looked forward at the leaves on the ground before nodding. "Okay. I think I can do that. He told me where he lives. I can find him. I could bring him back."

I smiled, though there was no emotion behind it. I still felt numb at the moment. "Alright." The word came out blander than I expected. Aruna knew something was off, and I knew that. But I knew she wouldn't say anything. Instead, she stood up, wiping the back of her clothes off, and made her way back to the cabin, this time, though, through the front door. I sat at the tree stump for a little while longer, remembering what I could of my mother before she had passed.