Insanity .//. S.M.

Chapter 4

My head keeps playing these trics on me. I can't keep focused. I am trying to record a song and I think I see ashley. I can't keep doing this. My parents have noticed and my friends have noticed. Everyone has noticed.

"Shawn, sweetheart, I think you should see someone about this problem you have where you see Ashley. This is getting out of hands," My mom says. "I don't need to see someone about this. It is probably a phase," I argue. "Shawn! You will see someone about this! I don't care if it is a phase! It is a wierd phase if you ask me!" My mom yells at me.

I sigh and give in. My mom takes me to a therapist right after I give in. I am very pissed that she did this because she knew I was going to give in. My mom signs me in and we wait in the empty office until my name is called. "Shawn Mendes!" The assistant calls.

I get up and go to the office. I sit in there and the therapist sits next to me. "What seems to be the problem?" She asks. "I have no idea my mom sent me here because I can see my girlfriend," I say. She nods and says, "That's a problem why?" I look away from her and mumble, "Because she is dead." I look up at the therapist who looks thurougly confused. "What was that again?" She asks. "Because she is dead," I say a little bit more clearly.

"What do you mean by she is dead? Like not a live or your realtionship is dead?" She asks. "She killed herself. I don't know how she did it, but one of her friends called me to tell me she had done it. I was upset because when she killed herself we were on bad terms," I tell her. The woman nods and says "maybe you can see her because you want to make everything up to her and be on good terms."
After the therapy session I could still see her. The therapist made me talk to her and tell her everything and apologize and ask questions that weren't answered, I mean it helped but not by much. There is still apart of me that believes she is still alive. Maybe if I asked Nash I would get answers or I asked Taylor or I asked bea, even though she hates me. I just need answers. I had no idea what kinda state she was in but her guitar brought back so many memories.

I went on to Twitter to see if anything new was going on. I saw Cameron tweeting about bringing back magcon. I was going to respond to it but I decided against it. magcon wouldn't be the same with out ashley being at any of them. I scrolled through pictures of Taylor and bea moving into their own house together in Texas. Of course he would move, knowing someone who have died and left him alone always scared him. They were best friends and he had to go through this. Nash had some pictures with kimmie, I guess after the whole ashley thing he knew he had to be with kimmie.
I find it funny how after everything no one cares they go back, or expect you to go back to your normal life, and you can't. You can't just forget about the girl who died because she wasn't mentally all there or she had suicidal thoughts. You can't forget the person who had changed your life. It's just not possible, at least for me anyway.
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How was y'all's 4th of July if you live in America? if you don't live in the USA then how was y'all's weekend?
Good okay.
I am going to comicon next weekend and the one direction concert!
Will he forget about her? Will he get more help? Does he need more help?
Much love and muffins
~Kimberly