The long jump

Done dreaming

I put my hair up in a ponytail, my thick dark brown hair overflows in my ponytail, my curls are messy, my brown skin shines in the summer sun and my brown eyes squint because of how the sun is shinning into my window. I look at my phone and see no texts, no "good morning" from him..and strangely I don't feel effected by this at all, I thought I would care a little..even the smallest bit but I don't at all; I don't wanna care at all anyway, I live without him because he doesn't even realize that I love him so much that I am willing to follow him..his foot steps..his heart, I hear his heart beating everywhere!  I feel suffocated by his presence, I wanna forget him. I don't wanna remember him, his name, his voice, his body or his cologne, I hope he knows how upset i am because o him! I'm not going to see him today because he doesn't deserve my presence, I am a goddess and he's a worthless boy who doesn't love me but I loved him so much.. why doesn't he see me? Why am I putting so effort into him and he's not even trying for me? I don't understand because I give him the world and everything he can't even give me! 

I walk to front door and take a deep breath for the first time in a while, I feel myself start to cry, it's like I haven't felt my feeling since he's been on my mind. I wipe my tears and realize I finally feel like myself, I start to walk outside but I do that I lock my front door and I head to a path down the road, I wanted to go for a jog by myself to get him off of my mind like I wished I never fell for him. A part of me drown with the thoughts of him and how he made me feel, I felt like I was floating and always happy, I wonder if I made feel like that I probably didn't and i'm content with that. I wish I could be stronger without him, I need to be stronger without but I used to feel safe and special with him, it's bad that I never got to fell his arm around but he never tried to love me, so that's on him for not realizing my presences, I wanna give him the benefit of the doubt because maybe he didn't mean to hurt me...? I hope that's the case because he means everything to me...WAIT!  no I'm not gonna making excuses for him at all because if he really did care he would show it!

I decided to run for an hour so I could clear my mind. It helped me a little but I can't help but see him everywhere that I go it's like he's stuck in my head..I feel like I'm going to be sick. I wonder what he's doing because maybe he's missing what he kind of had with me, he should be grateful that I even looked in his direction because he's a hopeless boy that doesn't deserve me because I am a goddess compared to him. UGH! I never wanna love him...then someone texts my phone and it isn't him but it's a random number that I don't know because I don't remember this number at all, the text shows me a picture of myself walking home, I loom around to see anything or anybody, I feel like I am being watched..now it feels to be in his situation, I never  realized how creepy and scary it can be but I kinda think it's cute because someone really must love me, huh? I wounder who it could be...Well I guess I won't figure it out today because I am tired so I am going home where it's safe and warm, it's really cold out today. I start walking and then running to see if I would get anything or a picture but nothing, I feel crazy from this because someone actually appreciates me like I do, I feel like I am in love with a ghost. 

The weather got colder as the time went on the sky got cloudy and I decided to run back to my apartment, I finally open my apartment door and enter the warm the place I call home, the lights are off yet I feel like I'm not alone..I don't turn on my lights instead I walk to my bedroom and shut the door behind me, I turn on my light and my bedroom felt normal, I decided that I am just being paranoid and go to sleep, I wake up a few hours later and my alarm to get ready for work goes off, I stretch and get ready for my night shift as I have a long night ahead of me then my phone buzzes again and I don't remember setting another alarm at all, so this weird and new to me. I see his name pop up and I instantly feel disgusted by his presence but I thought I would be happy to hear from him but I'm not at all. I leave him on read, and go on with my day like normal without change in schedule..i wonder what he's doing right now? probably nothing rotting without me because I'm a goddess and he's just a worthless boy can't live without goddess like me. I hope he burns in hell, I know he can't and won't find anything better than me.

Then my phone start buzz none stop which weird because I don't think anyone is free today 'sooo I wonder who could be' I wonder to myself as I get ready for work finally, I walk out of my apartment and out to my car at the bottom of stairs,  I slowly walk to my car and I get that strange felling again...like I am being watched and I can't shake the feeling and I feel so nervous which is weird because I am never nervous like at all. I hurry into my car and prepare to drive then after a short but long 10 minutes of driving I pull in to my parking spot, I clock in and start getting helping stock shelves after an hour I see him walk into the store.