Paralyzed

Chapter 2

(Ariel's POV)

I blink away the sleepiness and try to see. My sight is kind of blurry, so I rub my eyes. I wonder if Matthew’s going to wake up, if he ever does.. Man, I sound negative.. But will he ever forgive me when I tell him? I can’t believe I put him in this situation. I open my eyes and find Matt staring at me. I gasp and try to muffle the scream rising in my throat.

"Matthew..? " I whisper taken a back. Matt just blinks with his eyes wide in shock.

“Oh..” I say, rubbing the back of my neck at the awkward tension in the room. I clear my throat and say,

“Umm.. I'm Ariel. I know you don’t know me, but I know you.” I hesitate as a lump in my throat is beginning to form.

“I’m the reason you’re in the hospital. I’m the one who crashed into your car.” I ramble feeling more and more awkward and scared. I won’t dare to look him in the eyes.

I’m so ashamed of what I’ve done. I mean, I’ve left him paralyzed for god’s sake! A tear slips down my cheek. Suddenly I feel something on my top of my hand. I gaze at my hand and at first nothing registers in my brain because I’m in such shock. When I got out of my daze I gasped. Matt’s hand is on top of mine?! He can move?! How is this possible? The doctors even clarified his whole body was paralyzed. This must be a miracle.

I look into his eyes and I don’t see anger like I thought, his eyes are filled with hope and happiness. Another tear falls from my eye, he seems so confident. Is he happy I did this to him?! Impossible. I almost took Matt’s life away. That’s unforgivable.

I ease at his touch, but shouldn’t I be the one comforting him? His touch makes it feels like I was meant to be with him. Is it selfish of me that I want him all to myself? I’ve been with him ever since I came out of my recovery. A few cuts and bruises here and there, no big deal. I got fixed up pretty quickly while he got the worst of the accident. Once I knew where Matt’s room was, I came here as quickly as I could. It’s been five months in his healing process and he’s been doing just fine. Actually, scratch that! He can move for goodness sake! Who knows when he’ll be able to talk again. I hope it’s soon.

Matt moves his lips trying to form words to say. His brows furrow in concentration trying so hard to form words, it hurts to watch the disappointed expression on his face. Everyday watching his body in that coma hurt like hell. Some days I just grabbed his hand and sobbed telling him to wake up and that I’m so sorry I did this to him. He motions for a paper and a pen to write on, so I give it to him.

“Hi Ariel” he writes giving me a weak grin. Oh my goodness he’s handsome. I mentally slap myself. Get a grip Ariel he hates you for what you’ve done to him.

“Hey Matt” I say and smile sadly at him. He blinks in surprise. I guess only his friends call him that. He goes back writing something.

“How are you?” it says. He manages to look a little sheepish. His grey eyes staring at me. Oh my goodness they're the most unique color I've ever seen. It impossible not to get lost in his eyes.

My eyes widen in surprise. Was he really asking me how I was? Out of all the people, me?! Wow he’s so thoughtful.

“Oh I’m fine. Just a few scrapes and bruises.. Are you okay? I mean I know you’re not… I just… I just want you to be happy and live your life to the fullest. I’m so sorry I wrecked this for you. I knew I shouldn’t have been going that fast. I’m so sorry.” I ramble whispering the last part as a tear falls down my face. I can’t even look him in the eye. God dammit Ariel look him in the face you whimp!

He takes a hold of my hand again and squeezes ever so gently. When he doesn’t let go, I look up to meet his thoughtful eyes looking down on me. He tries to sit up but then falls back onto the bed as a groan slips through his lips and a hiss escapes as he tries to sit up again. I move to try to help, but it's futile. I can't do anything since I don’t know how to help.