South Park x Male Reader

I Want To Fuck Cartman's Mom

Your House

As you enter your house, your parents bombard you with questions. How was your first day? How cute girls? New friends?

"Yes, guys, I'm not a loser." You tell them.

"Just making sure you fit it, sweetie." Your mom says.

"Speaking of, do any of your friends live near here?" Your dad asks.

"Uh... yeah... this Cartman kid lives a couple houses down."

"Why don't you go over there?" Your mom asks.

"I guess." You say.

'Wouldn't hurt for Cartman to lighten up.'

You walk a few houses down the street to Cartman's. You knock on the door. An extremely hot woman opens the door. She can't be more than twenty years old.

"Yes?" She asks.

Your eyes widen, and you open your mouth to talk, but nothing comes out. Cartman walks behind the woman.

"Mom do we ha- What the fuck is he doing here?" He demands.

"Oh my, do you know him, pumpkin?" His mom asks.

"Yeah, I guess. Let him in." Cartman sighs, walking into the kitchen.

"So, are you a new friend of Eric's?" His mom asks.

You look at Cartman, shrugging.

"No mom, he is not my friend." Cartman says, walking upstairs, his arms full of food.

"Oh. Well, I'm Eric's mom... Liane." Liane tells you.

"Y/N." You stammer.

"You have a sweet name," She says, smiling.

"Could I fix you anything? A snack?"

'Yeah, strip naked.'

"Sure, if it's no hassle."  You answer.

"Never! Wait here, I'll be right back." She walks into the kitchen to make you a snack. You look around the living room. Pretty basic house. 

"Here sweetie." She sets down a plate of apple slices, with a glob of peanut butter on the side.

"I love this combo!" You say, digging in. 

"I'm glad you do. So, how do you know my little Eric?" She asks.

'Little?'

"Mutual friends. My dad told me to come over so... here I am." You reply, stuffing the apples in your mouth.

"Well I'm glad you did. I'm always happy to have you." She says, smiling.

"Thanks, Ms. Cartman. Hey, sorry to ask, do you have a bathroom?" You ask.

"Well yes! Up the stairs and to the left." She chuckles.

"Thanks."

You walk into the bathroom, and begin to pee. As you do your business, you look at the walls. The paint is blue, with the tub, toilet and sinks all white. You see two toothbrushes in a cup on the sink. A red one, with the bristles all twisted and smashed. And a blue one, in almost perfect condition, yet wet from recent use. You flush and find yourself snooping more. You look through drawers, finding basic bathroom supplies. You find a box of tampons, which makes you all fuzzy. You shake your head, leave everything how you found it and you walk into the hallway. You hear Liane laughing at the TV downstairs, and Eric snoring in his room. Let the snooping continue.

You see a near empty closet, and all that's left is Liane's room. As your start pushing her door open, Cartman's door opens.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He demands, still groggy from his nap.

"Uh... I... Well... I thought I saw someone!" You stammer.

"Oh." He yawns, shuffling down the stairs.

You sigh and close Liane's door, following Eric down the stairs.

"I should probably get home now. Close to dinner time, y'know." You say to Liane.

"Makes sense, come back anytime, okay sweetie?" She says.

"Oh I will." You Smirk, leaving the house.

'I want to fuck Cartman's mom.' You think, walking home.