South Park x Male Reader

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South Park High School

You rub your eyes as Ms. Nelson goes on and on about Shakespeare or something. 

"Okay guys, what's everyone's favorite Shakespeare novel?" She asks the class.

"Shakespeare wrote books?" Clyde asks Ms. Nelson.

"Erm, yes Clyde." She responded, covering her face with her hands.

"Oh... does Romeo and Juliet count?" He asks.

"Juliet is h... ho.... hehh... hoooo... hot!" Jimmy says, some of the boys nodding in agreement. 

"Claire Danes man... I knew I was onto something." Stan says. 

"You boys are so weird." Red says.

"Getting back on track... Clyde, Romeo and Juliet technically counts." Ms. Nelson says, trying to get the class's attention.

The class takes notes on how Shakespeare wrote his novels and about his life. The class seemed to drag by. Your mind wanders to Jessica. She's wearing a black crop top and short jean shorts. She has to know what she's doing. 

"Psst!" Someone nudges your chair. You look back, and it's Red.

"Quite staring at Jessica, you creep!" She tells you. You stare at her, raising an eyebrow.

"Look, us girls like Jessica enough, but she's a total whore, and it's working! She needs guy's attention so bad, and it makes girls like me look like shit!

You shrug and focus back on your notes. You hear Red sigh behind you. 

Cafeteria

"Okay, we need to do something after school. Remember when we were kids? We hung out all the time! Now it feels like you guys hangout without me or something!" Cartman complains to the table. Kyle and Stan look at each other, stifling their laughter.

"Like, Kenny, why don't we ever hangout?" Cartman begs.

"Mrph (I'm) meh (too) mrff (busy) meph (getting) mrphs (bitches) mrphph (dude)." Kenny mumbles.

"Hey, new kid," Cartman says, snapping in your face.

"We should hangout!"

'I get to see your mom again!?'

You shrug, and Cartman groans.

"Screw you guys, I guess I'll just ask Butters." Cartman says, taking his tray across the lunch room.

Kyle and Stan turn to face you.

"Weren't you at his house yesterday?" Kyle asks.

"'Cause of my parents. But I didn't really talk to Eric, I was with his mom the whole time." You say to them.

Kenny's eyes widen.

"Of course you were," Stan chuckles.

"So, we've known most of the girls forever, but any of them catch your eye?"

"Jessica and Jenny so far. But there's this girl in our science and my shop class..." You explain.

"Who!?" Kyle begs.

"This girl names Wendy." You say.

Stan goes silent and focuses on his lunch tray.

"Oh." Kyle sighs.

"What?" You ask, confused.

"Wendy and Stan have a... history..." Kyle tries to explain.

"Shit... sorry dude." You say to Stan.