The Death of Colleen Rivers

Chapter 2: Baylor

I still couldn't believe it. Colleen, my Colleen, was gone. I just saw her yesterday, so full of life, giggling at my dumb jokes like she always did, punching me playfully in the arm when I made fun of her. Gosh I loved her.

And I still do love her. I want her to come back. I need her to come back. I need her to make fun of me again, and laugh at me. I need her to steal my phone and take so many selfies on it that I end up having to delete some just to have storage on my phone. I need to see her smiling again and tell me I'm stupid but she loves me anyways. I need Colleen back in my life.

The therapist said I would eventually be okay, but I don't think I ever will be. He told me it was just like breaking up, but a little more drastic.

No duh. It's actually a lot more drastic. Had he even been through a break up? Or a death of a girlfriend? I doubted it. He didn't know how I felt. No one did.

Colleen would just tell me to stop acting like a baby and get over it. But she isn't here anymore to do that...

I promised her I was coming back to her every day and I was going to. I wasn't going to break my last promise to her. She would kill me if I did.

I jumped in my car and sped off back to my house. It was raining and the roads were wet, even flooding in some spots. Part of me wished my car would hydroplane and instantly kill me. Being dead seemed better right now than actually living.

I wouldn't have to worry about school and my grades, or my future in college and my career, or my parents fighting anymore. It would only be Colleen and I and we would be happy.

Too bad that didn't happen. I safely made it home and parked my car in the garage, shutting down the engine and quickly going to my room to be by myself.

I needed to think everything over. This was too much to take in all at once. I still thought she was with me.

Of course everyone told me she was still with us, but that's just what everyone says when someone dies. To make the grieving not hurt so much.

But it was something besides people telling me that. It felt like she was actually there. I felt someone, or something, touch my shoulder, and talk to me.

It couldn't have been Colleen, could it? She's gone. That would be impossible.

But her death was impossible.

I looked in the mirror at myself. My blonde hair was a mess, my black tie loosely hung around my neck. My gray dress shirt was wrinkled in many places, making me look like a wreck. I didn't want to see myself anymore, so out of frustration and depression, I punched the mirror with all the strength I had left, causing it to shatter into a million pieces. My knuckles were now bloody and glass decorated my bedroom floor.

I sat down on my bed placing my elbows on my knees and shaking my head. I mumbled, "You don't know how much I miss you, babe."

"I do, sweetheart. I miss you even more."

I stood up so fast I made myself dizzy and turned around to find where the voice was coming from. I saw nothing but my empty room.

Maybe it was my imagination getting the best of me. I would have went with that theory but I heard the faint voice again.

"Can you hear me, Baylor? I'm right here."

"Who? Who are you?" I called out to my empty room.

"It's Colleen of course! Who else would call you sweetheart, you idiot?"

Oh it was definitely Colleen. But how?

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "I can't believe it. I'm losing my mind."